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NikNikSenior Contributor
Hi all,
Sometimes as people who want the best for people we care for, we feel a bit like this:
What can we do if the person we care for doesn't want, or think, they need help?
Join the conversation with special guests from Mind Australia
Share your experiences, your thoughts and hopefully pick up some tips.
Please welcome the Mind Australia team from the carers helpline 🙂
In response to: TOPIC TUESDAY What if they don't want help? *Session now finished*
CarersHelplineContributor
In response to: TOPIC TUESDAY What if they don't want help? *Session now finished*
SadMumContributor
@CarersHelpline - it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've tried in before but couldn't make it last very long because I felt sorry for him, but this time, I am tired and exhausted from the abuse and something in me has shifted. I love him to bits and pieces and only want him to be happy but I can no longer jeopardise my own mental health in the process of trying to help his. I hope he seeks help and I hope he can get well and I hope when that happens I can be well enough to support him through that. But as I said already that needs to be as a result of his own desire. And maybe as you've said to another contributer, it can and often is a significant incident that is the catylist....maybe that will be soon for him or maybe it was last week with a trip with the police to the Mental Health Unit. Unfortunately, I can't know that and one of the hardest parts of dealing with a loved one with mental health issues is the stepping back from wanting to fix them. And I found that as a mum, the transition from "mothering" your child and "supporting" an adult child who can and should make their own decisions is one of the most difficult transitions I've ever been faced with. My maternal urge to continually save him from his self is incredibly persistent.
In response to: TOPIC TUESDAY What if they don't want help? *Session now finished*
CazzieSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
NikNikSenior Contributor
What an amazing discussion that's going on.
There seems to be many of us in similar situations - somewhere along the spectrum.
@SadMum - it seems like you're considering making boundaries...
Which is something that I'd like to put to all of you....
What boundaries have you put in place? How do you manage these?
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
CarersHelplineContributor
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
CazzieSenior Contributor
@SadMum and @Rover
I feel for you in your situation. Your emotional pain but be severe. I'm wondering if you've sought support for yourselves in all this?
The reason I ask is because I didn't and I've had to pay the price. Because my husband is a functioning person who just happens to have a MI it never crossed my mind that I should seek help for myself. I went along to many of his counselling sessions and was able to express some of my concerns and issues in those but it wasn't until he came out of the clinic in August that I realised that I truly did need help "just for me".
Reaching that realisation is what brought me here a few months ago. I also now have a counsellor that I can see regularly if only to vent. I'm not sure how well I'd be doing right now if weren't for these forums and that counsellor.
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
CarersHelplineContributor
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
CarersHelplineContributor
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
EagleSenior Contributor
@NikNik& @Cazzie
Looks like you're both talking about similar things - taking care of yourself.
🙂
In response to: Re: What if they don't want help? *Session now open*
CarersHelplineContributor
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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