Facing Christmas and nye alone

Thank you for the tag @Former-Member. So you have an estranged brother too. I have two, and they are also estranged from each other, as are their children from both of them and from all of us. And then there's mine—all estranged. Aren't families great?

I hope we have a nice day on 25 December. Just another day here.

I also hope you're doing alright in the everyday running of life.

Yeah @Historylover my brother and I have not seen eachother in 30 years roughly speaking. We don't get along. My parents are deceased. I wasn't raised in a good family so the conflicts were there on a daily basis almost. I'm just glad I'm free of that now. Would be nice to have some kin or friends but its hard meeting people. All my friends have passed on. I hope you can find some joy leading up to xmas.

My family were held together by total life bewilderment, @Former-Member. Everyone went in a different direction trying to work it all out. My father died first and when my mother died, there was nothing to hold us together anymore.

Amazing, isn't it...every year at this time is the same. We all think about how things are supposed to be. And I'm sure my brothers and our families are too, even if they try not to.

It's not only hard meeting people, @Former-Member, it's even harder meeting people we have enough things in common with.

The shops are getting more and more festive, and it's nice to recall childhood memories when life was so different, as we hear the cheerful music everywhere.🎄

Hi @Former-Member,

I just wanted to drop by and say I hope you are okay. It sounds like life has thrown you some tough challenges over the years but I am glad to read you are free of the conflicts of the past. I often think I would rather be myself than live in a world full of conflict and never ending problems. I read a quote not long ago that really resonated with me:

"Small circle. Private life. Peaceful mind." (author unknown).

I hope you are okay and you also find some joy coming into xmas.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

@Historylover. I used to go over photo albums when I had them as there weren't any happy pictures. There are hardly any photos of us as a family. Its a shame. But I accept it for what it was and try and make a better life for myself now. It would be nice to have some chosen family (ie close friends) but as I said my friends died. Lost quite a few over a 10 year span. But yes, i'll try not to get upset over what could have been and just have a nice day anyway. My friends and I had dynamic relationships and they were growth relationships. But nothing now. I just live for myself these days.

I look through the photo albums I have managed to put together from the scraps allowed me, @Former-Member, but it just makes me wish we could go back and do it all again with the wisdom of hindsight. Life's strange in that we seem to be locked onto a path by virtue of what preceded.

My parents did their absolute best, but as we all grew beyond childhood, everything went off track, and it seems the same for the following generation—as if no-one is learning anything, just a repeating of family ignorance, mistakes and stupidity. Sheep. That's the mess I was trying to correct. So sad. We are all good people who have never been given a chance to succeed and are all strangers to each other—like oil and water.

At least you had friends whose relationships must have brought you considerable joy. Those memories must be precious.

Sorry to be so sad, but hopefully not saddening, @Former-Member. It must be the time of the year for reminiscing. 🎄❄️🎅🤶

Thanks @FloatingFeather for your nice comments and yes that quote really resonated with me. Its certainly very true. Its so much better in my life now than what it was. I loved the friends I had and what we shared, they were closer to me than my family. Such a shame theres so many broken families in the world. I am at peace with myself now and wish other the same this time of year. Thanks for chiming in. I do feel somewhat saddened but I will get over it. Its my feeling that so many people find it hard this year being products of family abuse

It's ok @Historylover things can get very sensitised around this time of year not just for the MI.

I bought an astrology calendar for next year which I have been jotting in dates yesterday for all the astrology transits, eclipses and new/full moons. Astrology is a hobby of mine. I did watch a presentation yesterday which went deeper than my existing knowledge. It consisted of people on a research panel looking at repeating transits historically and graphs of the world with hotspots for 2023. I may join that website next year as a signed up member as I want to go deeper with it.

I have been getting out and exercising today again. Did a 20 minute walk around the block. Someone waved to me from a car. Don't know who it was - must have mistaken me for another person! lol Anyway thought it was a bit funny. Mercury retrograde always brings up people from past so thought it may have been someone I vaguely knew who I keep bumping into at the supermarket.

Anyway the walk was good. I am getting physically fitter. Got to do some resistance training this afternoon. My body is responding to more activity and @TAB is encouraging me to keep going. He must walk for an hour so I'm trying to persist with my exercise routine no matter how small it is. Have been walking most days but today noticed more physical fitness than before which is good.

Do you get out of the house much? I don't really but my shrink wants me catching the bus and getting out a bit more. Thought of going to a botanic park for a walk and check out some more walking trails over the holidays.

It's good that you have your astrology interest, @Former-Member. It's interesting what some find they have an affinity for and others, like myself, who find it goes over their heads. Keep it up and take it further if that is what intrigues you...but you don't need me to tell you that. Our world is such a complex experience and extends far beyond everyday understanding. Does astronomy interest you too? Past-forumite @Dec had an enviable knowledge of it. I was always going to buy binoculars to observe the night sky but have never got around to it.

As for exercising, I used to walk for an hour every day, but my feet became so injured that I have had to stop. Anyway, without a car, I do quite a bit more walking that the average person just to do the necessary shopping etc. I try to do some extra if my essential activities fall short of requirements. I don't do enough, though. Several have remarked that I am very fit when they see me stride out, so I guess I've done alright. I've been thinking of going in to the Botanical Gardens for a few hours. Pity I've missed the Spring blooms, but I'm sure every season offers something nice. It's just so much nicer to do these things with someone.

Perhaps the person who waved to you was revelling in the xmas spirit!

You've just shamed me into going for a walk, @Former-Member; a walk and a run. Thank you.