9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Actually Loopy, I think your better than that. What she said to you. Do you think she
saw someone come and assist you ?
Felt bad because she knows your a good person?

Let it go. Remember, having a good integrity is the way to go.
How can you benefit ?

Next time....you could say...hey I think I better leave you alone for a while.
That's it.

Hu @Loopy and @PeppiPatty
Normal? Normal is the average, the median the middle..I prefer to be ordinary..doing what ordinary people do and knowing that if my foremost aim is to be ordinary..well I am on the path to being good..as opposwd to falling into the "normal" trap of wanting to look food or feel good.
The Jones are supposed to be normal..if that's normality, I don't want it..
Hope you're having a peaceful weekend...

hi allessandra1992/ Sandy,

It is nice to write g'day to you, my like minded friend.
I'm feeling loved by my family. The first time in many years. It feels like my Mum is working hard to give me some space to be me. I took 6 weeks off work to get medication together etc. so am taking my time to look at my other work, to sew and draw for my own business.

really, just stopping an I'm not asking any approval from anyone. ( memories of bringing up children in high crisis / University studies / selling my home to pay for therapy for my kids and myself.....
No, I'm not coming over for coffee, sorry, even if you have jelly beans to share. I'm having a lie down.

Xxxx

What wonderful news that your mum is trying to support you!
Sometimes it is just knowing that we are all trying to appreciate each other makes all the difference!
Enjoy your time! Now I am going to look at my unfinished projects and choose one to of nish this week..problem with clothes is I have grown since I cut fabric..LOL..must be time to make something brand new! Preferably stretchy...

hey Sandy girl,

stretchy's good. When my son moved out of home, I needed to manage one part of my life an I got a lap band, not for everyone but for me is good.

I've drawn one good picture about 5 months ago.... I want to draw more. It's a slow process.

Loopy, your message is much liked by me. Thank you. I've written about this I think to Gray but I had a dream on my biological father's side of the family and......I've been struggling with this but....why have I made decisions I have when I thought my family were backing me.....they weren't though.

It's because I'm vulnerable. I have been taken for a ride by family members because they never understood I'm vulnerable. I've been name called, ignored, laughed at and I've never really fought back because I don't want to.
I've been in what I thought were loving relationships but they weren't because I was not seen as vulnerable but to care and not get back.
Phew. Now I've got that out.......

Thanks. I needed to hear that.

Can you take a deep breathe and hope with me that she is ? Thanks.
My Dad and Mum are very strange people .......we will see what happens.
You are right on the medication thing. It's good to get back on what your meant to.

Dear loopy,
I'm glad that your here. I'm hoping that you can answer me some questions, is that okay?

I'm different than my family, my mum had three boys and me. She spends a lot of time with my brothers their wives and children. My youngest son lives with my Mum. She's wealthy and she absolutely adores my youngest son. When my oldest son developed an MI she was the one who turned against me on what I was asking my family to do and cut contact with me. I flew over to see him, it worked out well and she hasn't apologised but got angrier. One day, over the phone, I said she was affecting my mental health and she is working hard to change.

My step father asked me to sell my home a few years ago to live next door to him to care for him as he was very ill. He's since gotten better. I did that via advice from him and my then financial situation, spent the interest on caring for my kids. no regrets. my youngest son was very ill......this is strange but when my son got better, he told me he forgot he was ill. he has turned against me ; saying some awful things and treated my oldest son very badly.
My brothers all really love me but they are too busy and caught up with their own lives to focus too much.
Mum and my Dad recently met and decided to stay good friends.

so, I'm very vulnerable, they are not. do you see change in people as they get older??

Just wanna write, Loopy that since my long self involved message, I did something I've only really done in my favourite Psychotherapists room.....I cried all night. I cried that my life is unfair.

I cried that my parents are not loving. I cried that my Mother has tried to turn youngest son around to dislike me. I cried I associate with people that that scene of the dream repeats itself in my life. I cried that the only buddies I feel safe with is you all. I cried that I hate the people I work with. I cried I love someone I had to leave because it was too difficult.

When I woke up I felt empty. It was like I turned into a nurse (self care) and walked down the hill of high anxiety.
If I turned around and looked up that hill, on the right lay a hospital of self care.
So, do people change ? Not in my family but my children, now two adults have had good foundations and they will be ok.

That is not saying I was a good mum either.
They don't need me which is a good feeling. I miss them though.

On a note of that dream.

Last night, I was sobbing away and I thought that when I was about 8-10 years old, both younger than to older than....I had a cindy doll who was a ballerina. My cindy doll lived in the nearby forest and ate lettuce (the top on fishtail ferns ) and other such yummy things. She lived in a cave near Russia and for kicks, would go dancing at the local ice pond. She lived alone. She spent all her time alone from other humans but the nice animals would visit. There were a lot of tall trees. Every now and again, she would creep up to a very large house, like a big castle about a mile away from where she lived......esp. During Christmas to watch her children be loved and cared for and given presents but she stayed outside looking through the windows. She hid behind bushes so her children couldn't see her. She sacrificed So her children could be given the best start in life.

The dream I had reminded me of all of that. I would have been 4 years old to 6 years old when I went to my Dad's home. I was a little girl. I have always been vulnerable. And that's how my stepmother treated me then.


Thanks for reading,
JA47yr