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9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

I'm fairly sure most of us have been there. That gut-wrenching, hot-under-the-collar feeling of hearing someone else's insensitive remarks about MI.

A lot of the time it can be our own friends and family trying to do right by us. Other times it can be people that simply just don't get it.

In this article, 9 Things not to say to someone with MI, the author, Tartakovsky, explains that many people don't know what to say because they've not learned how to respond to MI. She provides examples of nine common remarks people say and how to respond. Here's a few of them (go to link provided for full article):

“Get busy, and distract yourself.”

“With significant mental illness, [distractions] won’t work, not even temporarily,” Howes said. After a person slogs through various diversions, they’re still left with the same issues. “Ignoring the issue doesn’t make it go away.”

“Do you want to get better?”

For mental health blogger Therese Borchard, this was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to her. While she knows the person didn’t have ill intentions, it still had a powerful effect. “It implied that I was staying sick on purpose, and that I had no interest in pursuing health, not to mention that I was too lazy or disinterested to do what I needed to do to get better.”

“Change your attitude.”

While a change in perspective can be helpful, it doesn’t cure conditions such as ADHD, bipolar disorder, PTSD or schizophrenia, said Howes. And changing one’s attitude isn’t so easy either. “It’s incredibly difficult for a high-functioning person to change their attitude, let alone someone debilitated by an exhausting mental illness.”

What are your thoughts? Is it best to teach others what to say? Or are we fighting a tiring battle? What are some of the insensitive remarks you've heard and how did you respond? @SCORPION I thought of this topic after reading and commenting on your post. I'd love hear your thoughts on this. Any thoughts from our active contributers @Uggbootdiva @kenny66 @Loopy @kristin @Alessandra1992 @kato @PeppiPatty?

248 replies

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In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

justanother47yr, anyone is qualified to call them all , selfish, self opiniated a seholes.

loopy.

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Yes, I agree but Loopy. I've got to live my life as a 47 year old......
In a place where I need to feel I'm moving forward.....
What did you think of my suggestion on your daughter?

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Got a restraining order on him.
I'm not allowed to .... Lol !
But I was extremely surprised when I heard.....what a silly moron.

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

justanother47yr, get some else to do it for you. Virtul kick, (X six) from me. Done.

loopy

In response to: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Pulling the pin on sane
Because:
Every night, I've been sobbing away.
I've already had 17 years of Psychotherapy!!
All these feelings of sorrow,......whee are they coming from???

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

justanother47yr, took it on board, now just waiting for an embarrasing time to drop her in it when all her nwonderful friends are about. I am a bit mean because the pr.ck she is married to should shoulder at least half the reaction, and he will.

loopy

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Who ? Your daughter ? Dont do that you naughty person ! Lol lol have integrity ! But ....what..her husband? They have friends who are all like they are.....you be selective on what you say mr loopy special man

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

another47yr, so what, 17 years is chook feed try since 1989. and nothing has changed, only SANE, same psych, medication, feelings, frustration and lonelyness. Unfortunately all who suffer from a MI are going to have that , feelings of sorrow and after a while you don't ask where they are coming from, the questioin is , when are they going on long service leave or retirement, the latter preferably. I am making fun of a darn woefull situation but you have to learn not to ask where from but when are it going away. Oh you forgetted the water from the eyes and running across your nose in bed and if you breathe in to deeply up and out ya nose.

loopy

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

justanother47yr, sorry not known for my finese, was, is and alway been a real p.ick when I need to be. But I always smile when I lower the boom.

loopy

In response to: Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Re: 9 things NOT to say to someone with MI - Teaching others what to say

Now ... Is this about your daughter ? Now, now, let's see if it's money that keeps both her and marriage together.
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