Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor08 Nov 2022, 6:51 pm AEDT

Not Coping

Hey everyone how are you all?

@RiverSeal @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @amber22 @Jynx @FloatingFeather

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand.

Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.

Thank you

24564 replies

9,381 - 9,390 of 24,564

1...938 939 940...2,457

In response to: Not Coping

outlanderSenior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:00 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

it really depends @Birdofparadise8 sometimes i go for a walk and listen to music to clear my mind, go for a drive, take abit longer in a hot shower to soothe the soul.
i have unhealthy coping strategies that usually come in on really bad days and then managing that takes priority.
i try and find ways that make breathing just that bit easier really. i find when im so upset or angry or stressed or triggerred i tend to hold my breath and i forget that one simple thing i can do to relieve some of that is to stop, take a breath and think.

i also sometimes make light of the situation. i dont find the circumstances im in funny because they relate to clients however alot of their experiences brings me back to my own experiences sometimes in a funny way. ie we had a client fall, it wasnt funny at the time but it reminded me when i went running toward the front door and i forgot i actually had to step up the steps and face planted the screen. so soemtimes i use my dark humour to get through a tough day.

i also take time to speak on the forums, connect with my psychologist, or helping other people. but sometimes im just to tired and ill have a shower and go to bed and watch a movie. its important to know how to switch off from the job

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:04 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

It sounds like you have a lot of ways to cope with it @outlander

I guess I'll have to figure out what works for me. That isn't crying or leading to worse depression.

Could it also be just where I am at with my mental health and why I find things so hard?

In response to: Not Coping

tymeModerator20 July 2023, 9:05 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

I haven't always laughed and been able to see the gain from situations @Birdofparadise8 . It's taken decades to come to this!

In the past, I'd just cry, shut myself from the world and SH. My depression really held me down a lot.

I'm sure @outlander can give some more helpful strategies 🙂

How was work anyway? I haven't read back yet.

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

outlanderSenior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:07 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

yes @Birdofparadise8 mental health plays a big part in it.
its taken me alot of practice to be able to cope with half the stuff i deal with here but ive also beena carer for nearly 10 years so it sort of comes naturally.

it really is about finding ways that soothe the soul. i know you dont like the hot chocolate idea but for me sitting out in the sun with a cup of tea and just focusing on the sun and breeze can be quite soothing for me. im surrounded by noise all the time and while that can be helpful, there are times when i just need peace and silence

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

I feel like that's where I am at @tyme

With the crying and depression.

Mmm, it was alright, very stressful but not as bad as yesterday, so that's a good thing. I had other things in the background that weren't making it any better.

It was hectic and hard when people all over me asked me to do 50 things at once.

I'm a bit upset now but better than yesterday, which is good. I was sobbing so much.

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

outlanderSenior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

@tyme i was like that too. but i have always had so many people relying on me which is not great but its sort of been abit of a blessing in disguise in that i knew i had things to do the next day. putting myself first has been the hardest thing i have ever done and saying no.

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

outlanderSenior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8 have you also considered that where your working right now is to much of a trigger and to much for you to handle? have you considered changing to another job like reception if thats what you like but somewhere that is lower pressured like a gp surgery or a health centre or customer service jobs

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:14 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

My other two jobs in Hobart were definitely not as emotionally draining or stressful, that's for sure @outlander

I'm under six months in, so I'll need to give it time. Once my depression gets better, then maybe the skills to be able to cope when work is hard will improve.

Yes, I don't find it helpful. Let alone the bloody breathing I had to do yesterday. I'm still a bit annoyed about that. I will speak to her again on Saturday. Do you think I should mention how upset I was afterwards @outlander @tyme

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

outlanderSenior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:17 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

have you considered changing jobs @Birdofparadise8 6 months is a pretty good estimate as to how youll cope mentally with the stage your at.
in a year or 2 you might find youll come back to that job and itll be much better for you but right now it seems to be to much if your being triggered every shift and come home to the way your describing.

In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor20 July 2023, 9:17 pm AEST

Re: Tw Not Coping

I've looked at other jobs, but there isn't much around for the same pay and hours that fit with uni @outlander.

I think I'll have to build a bridge and get over it. I'm probably just too sensitive.

9,381 - 9,390 of 24,564

1...938 939 940...2,457