Not Coping

@creative_writer , it was actually hot and muggy here today xx

@Shaz51, oh, right, I forgot you lived in QLD, silly me. Or do you live in another state? How was your day? xx

Yep Far north Queensland @creative_writer 😁

Hugs @Shaz51 ,

Have a good rest.

Chat tomorrow.

OK @tyme 🥰

Have sent you a email message 👍

Yeah okay thank you @tyme

Just go back from a nice dinner we had Thai.

Hello @creative_writer

How are you going?

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

I've just read about what your aunt and uncle have mentioned.

I acknowledge it may feel like a blow in the face and that they are leaving you, yet I also recognise they feel you are ready to take this step.

In my recovery, what I've learnt is that we cannot rely on other people in our recovery. It must be a journey we make for ourselves, by ourselves. People can help you along the way, but for one to be strengthened, they must be able to start dropping off the supports.

And yes, I know first hand how much this hurts. Even when I think of times when supports were brutally removed from me, I cried and cried and cried. Yet now, looking back, if this did not happen, I'd remain dependent up to this day.

It will hurt @Birdofparadise8 , yet at the same time, as you are older now, and have had these supports in place, allow yourself to trust that YOU can carry your own weight in order to grow stronger.

Allow it for your own sake.

The forums will be here and so will helplines.

Mmm yeah I guess it just going from once a week to every three weeks is a bit of a jump and I don’t think I’ll be able to contact between that.

I only think they feel like this because my aunt is working more @tyme.

Oh well it’s not like I can change it anyway. I’ll just have to move on and suffer.

Radical acceptance tells you you can't change it, but it also tells you that you don't need to 'suffer'. Remember, you are the author of your story. How are you going to write your book?

I remember I was in a similar situation and I mentioned that someone was not so 'available' for me any more... my psych was pretty blunt and straight-to-the-point, "And so? They're allowed to". @Birdofparadise8

This reminded me that it's not fair that their lives should revolve around me. They had to put their own needs first, and that doesn't mean they don't care. It's just the situation.

I used to be very close to an older person and became co-dependent. When I had to move out of her apartment due to situations beyond anyone's control, i felt part of me died. The grief, the loss, the hurt was close to unbearable... yet, I'm here to tell the story.

I know it is hard. Yet, no, you do not have to suffer unless that's the way you want it.

I have no clue how to write my own book @tyme.

I know they are allowed to but it doesn’t stop the hurt I feel not being able go chat as much. She has been a big part of life over the past year really.

Why would I want to suffer?