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I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand.
Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.
@Birdofparadise8, I hope the pain eases. Being sore, cold and exhausted isn’t so good 💖🫂
Maybe it’s cultural, I feel this pressure that I’m supposed to talk to my parents about my problems, but it just doesn’t work. I’m not sure if they have the emotional capacity, I don’t blame them, their upbringing was different, they did they best. Perhaps they may have unintentionally emotionally neglected me too when I was growing up, I was so conscious of not making them upset because I felt like they didn’t know how to handle my emotions. It probably has affected my ability to form close relationship, because internally the child inside me is screaming, if my parents couldn’t manage my emotions, who can sit with me when I am distressed?
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
tymeModerator
Re: Tw Not Coping
Hi @creative_writer ,
Thank you for sharing. It sounds lonely to go through all these emotions and not be able to speak to someone in your family about it.
I found myself in a similar boat. I was struggling so much internally, yet I never dared share it with my family. This made me isolate myself even more.
You know best as to whether you can speak to them or not.
I also acknowledge that posting here and writing does act as some form of release for you - am I right in saying so?
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor
Re: Tw Not Coping
I get that I feel like my parents were similar I don’t think they knew how too sit with my emotions and my mum would make a big deal out of everything.
Thank you I got a cold from my grandma at the wedding @creative_writer.
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor
Re: Tw Not Coping
@tyme are you on the GS tonight?
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
tymeModerator
Re: Tw Not Coping
Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,
You home tomorrow?
Yes, I'm on GS tonight. For part of the time only.
How's things?
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Tw Not Coping
@tyme, I think this cultural expectation is not helping, it’s like I’m supposed to tell them when things are bothering me with MH and trauma, like cultural says family is supposed to come before friendships. What’s bothering me the most is I feel disconnected from family even though I would say I am close to them. It’s hard when you are close to someone but disconnected. I am around them everyday. I have friends who I can discuss certain things with, but I feel disconnected from them too. Feeling disconnected with people around is so much more painful than ending up alone 😢. Maybe it’s the expectation you’re not supposed to be lonely around people. But you can’t really connected to people with a mask on, can you?
@Birdofparadise8, viral infections are going around, stay warm and drinks lots of fluids 💖
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
tymeModerator
Re: Tw Not Coping
Hey @creative_writer ,
I find that connecting with people does require a mask. Then as you get closer to people, parts of the mask fall away.
From my experiences, I don't think I would connect with anyone if I didn't have a mask on. The mask is a safety thing i reckon.
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Tw Not Coping
@tyme, that is true, but it’s exhausting when the mask needs to be on with everyone, family, friends and supports. Even my psych can tell that I hold back. I fight tears all the time during sessions, I get frustrated they try to break free, it comes as an overwhelming unexpected wave, it’s hard not to crack, I don’t want to crack, but I can stop the misty eyes. It’s hard to fight the “I’m not supposed to trust people including my supports”. It doesn’t help when your parents don’t trust either. My mum’s trust issues in particular are contagious, I can’t blame her for triggering them further, I have trust issues that need to be resolved. I have noticed myself growing cynical with age. You can take wearing a mask to the extreme too, which I do. I can never be myself unless I am alone
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
tymeModerator
Re: Tw Not Coping
On the flip side, do you think having that mask is what has kept you? @creative_writer
I acknowledge how difficult it is to reach out, especially when your mum sounds she also has trust issues.
You have been very brave in doing the best you can.
In response to: Re: Tw Not Coping
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Tw Not Coping
@tyme, it has certainly kept me safe. I have even learnt that not all supports are safe either, it’s really important you gel well with your supports so progress is not stunted. Maybe part of the issues with trusting even mental health professionals may also come from bad experiences too. I guess realistically, you can’t expect all therapists to care, but then I suppose many of them do
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