Not Coping

hhi @Birdofparadise8

I'm anxious today. Don't know why. Am curled up and hiding in bed.

Sounds fun @Bow

Are you allowed to do much exercise? I remember you said in hospital you couldn’t exercise.

I’m not feeling good at all. I got my period last night, but it been 20 days late and it’s not usually like that. I’m usually around 28 like clock work. Anyway it’s it so excruciating the pain in my low abdomen and back. It’s the worst I’ve ever had and I’m rotating pain meds to hopefully help the pain.

Oh sorry to hear that @Kyle1.

It feels like we haven’t woken in a while.

Im still in hospital.

yes, it's been a while @Birdofparadise8

I have sort of tuned out alot of recent days. Self isolated. It's just how I've been feeling. I do that when I get a sense of abandonment or loneliness - throw myself deeper into it. Maybe so it feels like I am doing to myself rather than somebody else doing it to me..? Not sure

Hospital sucks. Although, you can meet some interesting people sometimes

Oh I’m sorry @Kyle1 well I’m always here for you.

it hasn’t been to bad. The food is so good and the staff have all been very nice.

I just wish my period wouldn’t hurt so much I literally want to cry the pain is so unbearable. Imagine being constantly stabbed for hours on end.

I've heard nettle tea is good @Birdofparadise8 if you can. Or chamomile...

I don't like tea @Kyle1.

I can't even use a heat pack being in the hospital and the pain meds are doing the bare minimum.

Hmmm @Birdofparadise8 it’s not that I’m not allowed to exercise, it’s that I am encouraged not to at this point in my recovery journey. I tend to do it excessively and for the wrong reasons. My dietitian encouraged me to actually pack away my treadmill and bike. I told her I couldn’t do that and I’m suppose to be just going for a leisurely walk outside instead- that’s what my goal is and what I guess I agreed to try. I haven’t once been for a walk outside, but instead I’m back on the treadmill, for the same amount of time as I was pre- hospital but a bit slower. I need to be moving my body.

periods suck. I use an essential oils blend, that helps with my period pains. It’s hard when you’re in hospital and you’re limited to what you can use. I have to think about coming to a decision about having all my womanly parts removed soon. Tough decision.

Right okay. Well, I hope you make the best decision for yourself so you can stay at home and enjoy life.

I know it's so painful. I just want something stronger lol.

Why is that are you going through menopause or something @Bow?

No @Birdofparadise8 i had ovarian cancer in my late 20’s and a recurrence a couple of years later. My amazing gynae oncologist took a conservative approach to my treatment cause he knew that I wanted children and I only needed to have an ovary and tube removed. I’ve always known that I would need to have a full hysterectomy once I’ve finished having children and earlyish to prevent any chance of recurrence again. I would have loved to of had more children, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. But agreeing to have the hysterectomy makes it all very final.