Not Coping

Yeah I see some of my supports this week @Birdofparadise8 im seeing my case manager twice a week until my psychologist is back the middle of next month. I see my gp again this week too. And I think my peer worker will do a home visit now that I am home too.

I ate ok in hospital. I needed to keep myself medically stable to be able to stay in the private hospital and have ECT. I’m eating ok at the moment it’s just my thoughts that are horrible and relentless.

Sounds like a busy week @Bow.

It's good you have all those supports.

One question when I asked you about your ED what does the atypical part mean? You don't have to say if you don't want to.

I have atypical anorexia. The atypical just means it’s not your typical anorexia. And that means I have all the symptoms of typical anorexia except I am not underweight. That’s pretty much what atypical anorexia is…. Typical anorexia just not underweight.
atypical anorexia is actually heaps more common than the other. It’s alot of fat phobia, weight bias and use of the BMI that needs to be thrown out. You can have an eating disorder at any body size. And you can be medically unstable with an eating disorder at any body size.

this is something that I have become rather passionate about because I have experienced alot of medical mistreatment as a result of having an ED in a larger body.

Mmm, interesting @Bow, thank you.

I didn't realise it's more common. BMI is so stupid.

Whar are you both having for dinner tonight @Bow @Paperdaisy?

Got a cup of soup @Birdofparadise8 Chinese chicken and corn

what they serving up there tonight?

I had Lamb rogan josh, rice, veg and salad so full. Apparently there was chocolate cake on tonight but I don’t see any @Bow.

Soup sounds good what is your favorite?

I love my creamy cauliflower and potatoes soup so good.

They had so much food where I was @Birdofparadise8 I’m sure there was a lot of waste too.

I like a nice creamy cauliflower soup too, with some bacon in it. Homemade pumpkin soup is nice too

Bacon and croutons are so good @Bow.

You wouldn't believe that I vomited having pumpkin soup every time since I was little. I liked it, and I guess it just did go down so well. The strange thing is I can eat roast pumpkin like when I have a roast, and I'm fine. I feel it could be a bit psychological, but I just haven't had it in, like 6 years, so I don't worry lol.

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I thought I would be getting better in the Hospital, or the TMS would be helping, but I feel nothing is working. I'm so sad and alone right now.