hey @Birdofparadise8 Good morning.
I missed your message last night, sorry. Most times lately I am become rather subject to diurnal rhythms.
I spent most of yesterday out. The children and I went walking by the water. And we stopped to listen to starlings singing - a great tree full of them, and they whistled out from there like an ammunition storehouse set alight! You could almost think the tree itself were about to lift from the ground in a great firework...
Then we sat with our faces to the sun. And soaked in the warmth.
I was ambling on back to the car planning the weeks lunches ahead for school when we bumped into some friends from church. They took us out for lunch, which was such an honour - being mothers day and all...
And we hung out for hours at one of the local restaurants, out in the sun again.
Later in the evening I called in on a friend who's going through a difficult time, and brought them some bread, but found a different person there... They too were having a rough day, and just needed a good ole hug.
The children cooked a blueberry cake before dinner, and we watched shrek. By the end I was blissfully lethargic. 😊
it's funny, because I didn't plan to do anything yesterday. Nothing at all... But it turns out, in leaving the day open like that, and being at ease with it, seemed to leave the necessary space for other things to flow on in. And they were a blessing, indeed. Not everyday is like that, but yesterday was. I am so grateful.
As I read back through this thread I find you were going through a very trying time. And I am sorry that you were. I know times like this, aswell. And I keep an eye on the horizon for when the next dark day may trounce. But these hideous occasions don't always appear on the horizon: they can often drop out of the blue, or swallow us from below, or pommel us from behind... It is maddening. And tiresome.
I don't know your exact circumstances, laura: if your depression is a chemical imbalance, or situational, or trauma related...though I do hope you can hang in there. It sounds like you have supports in place. You are proactive in addressing your issues. And you have a whole lot to look forward to, yet: you are still in the first season of your adult life... What you're feeling these days could very well be the birthing pains of something incredibly wonderful on the way...
Take care, my friend 🙏🤍
It is a new day, and there is beauty in it.