Not Coping

Hello @Birdofparadise8 , Yes I'm here, and I read that unhelpful thinking patterns are prevailing? Please do not think I'm ignoring you. I am certainly reading on.

In some ways, the forums are great in that you can reflect on your own thinking. And sometimes, one needs quietness in order to do so.

I still remember when you first posted... I mean FIRST posted. I wonder if you remember? Would you dare go back so you can see your progress? No pressure of course.

Ah okay all good @tyme.

Yes, very much so I don't know what is wrong with me.

No, I'll see if I can find it.

Why does it matter though?

What is happening is not unusual @Birdofparadise8 . I like to call them 'growing pains'.... as one moved from late teenagehood to early adulthood....I've had these growing pains... as i've said before, mine lasted a VERY LONG TIME. You have so many supports in place that I don't think you will have to wait as long as me 🙂 I didn't have that privilege. I was battling it on my own for many many years.

Looking back helps one see how far they have come. It doesn't mean do it tonight, but it's something to keep in mind.

This was my first post in my Depression thread.

"I have depression and have been struggling for a few months now. I’ve just been struggling for a while and I feel like I’ve lost all hope in getting better no matter what I do."

Here is the one from TW Coping and Suicidal thoughts.

Why do I seem to not be able to shake how I feel I’m doing everything right to improve things but nothing is working. I feel like I’m just drowning in a pit of sadness I don’t even know where it is coming from. I’m always so hard on myself and feel like I’m letting everyone around me down. I’m not enjoying anything I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I also think about how life is pointless and that I should just give up entirely if I’m just always going to be depressed. Why keep trying when nothing is working. I just feel so stuck and ashamed to be thinking like this. I have even started to think about how I would do it which makes me really sad to know that I’m needing to. Suicidal thoughts suck and I seem to be having them more and more. Why does life have to be so damn awful I was bullied all through high school and now have to deal with this after finishing college. What do some of you do to help with suicidal thoughts? I try heaps of things but nothing seems to take them away. Why also when I’m feeling sad sometimes I even kind of like it. Most of the time I don’t but I seem to find it comforting at times is that a bad thing because I want to get better

Here is the one from when I lost my psych

I’ve just had the worst start to my week yesterday I found out that I can’t see my psychologist anymore as she is moving on to another job at the uni. I have a psychologist I’ve been doing a cognitive assessment with so hopefully I can see him. I have an appointment with both of them on Thursday so I’ll find out what going to happen. I can’t believe this has happened though like I’m happy she has got a new job. I just feel a bit sad about it knowing how hard it is to open up to people and to have to go through that again is just annoying. Anyway thanks for letting me vent I needed this.

Here is one from when we did the 20 questions @tyme. Do you remember it?

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand. Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.

I know you said first-ever post but that one was small compared to other ones.

I remember you mentioning growing pain, @tyme.

In what way are they relevant now, do you think?

@Kyle1, you'll see from below how messed up I am and still am. These are from October and November last year.

Very very interesting 🙂 @Birdofparadise8 . I remember all those posts. But I also remember others - yes, smaller ones 🙂 I won't bring it up now, but in due time I will. Now is not the appropriate time.

Why, what is wrong with now? You're not going to keep me on the edge of my seat now, are you?

I still feel the same way as back then, anyway, so it's not like I've gotten very far.

Though my aunt does tells me, I need to not critersiese myself so much when I'm around her. I find it hard as it seems a bit of a habit. Maybe that is something I need to do here as well.

What do you think @tyme?

I do agree with your aunt. It's a pattern of thinking which has turned into a habit. @Birdofparadise8 .

The things you say to yourself, would you ever say it to someone else in the face? Probably not.

Do you mean the mean things I say to myself @tyme?

If so, I would never do it intentionally, maybe by accident or if circumstances were relevant to it.

Actually, when we were out yesterday it was literally a habit how I said how stupid I am.