Not Coping

No, it's okay you just took me by surprise with what you said that's all @tyme.

I am back in my room now as I was just out with a group of people. Now, this is were the fun begins.

Well just make it 'fun'! @Birdofparadise8 Maybe it's not to self-sabotage, but to self-help instead?

You KNOW this is a tricky time and space, so what you are you going to do to help yourself? Netflix? Studies? Paint? Draw? Word searches?

I don't think anything will help right now I feel myself slipping right now I don't know how to keep myself from not going into that rabbit hole when nothing is helping. To be honest I really want to self-harm. @tyme

SH may give temporary relief (which is also your choice), however, the underlying issue is not self-harm. There is more to this @Birdofparadise8 .

The world can tell you till they are blue in the face not to self harm, but ultimately, the action lies with you. I'm not going to tell you to SH or not to SH.

I more want to look at the driving force.

Mmm okay well what is driving it is the pain I am feeling and how overwhelmed I get or sometimes I am feeling nothing and I am numb and need that relief. Everything just gets too much for me and I see it as the only option @tyme

Yes, true that. Now what is driving the 'pain' and feeling 'overwhelmed'? @Birdofparadise8

I'm asking these questions remembering that I too have been in a similar place. My self-harm was a go-to. Yet in the end, it didn't do much apart from add an extra mark to my body. I've still got the scars to show my battle with MH.

Yet recovery was learning to accept my condition. Not to punish myself for feeling this way.

Feeling alone, worthless, hopeless and sad. The many years of bullying and emotional hurt.

Yeah many marks that I wish would go away, but then I want to add more at the same time @tyme

I can't cope feeling like this for the next 8 months I am literally crying right now and have been every night since I have come here @tyme

Hey hun @Birdofparadise8 ,

Also remember, you were crying when you were back in Hobart too.

It sounds like dealing with the feelings of bullying is what needs work. The reduction/ceasing of SH is a secondary matter.

Alternatively, did you want to go back to Hobart?

I know that, but I am feeling worse and it hasn't even been a week. I definitely don't want to go back home I have already met so many people @tyme