Not Coping

Sorry if I worried you. I didn't mean to.

Yes, it definitely can be I am mostly sad and then very sad besides, the other day, when I found out about uni, I was actually happy that day.

I get that and all, but I feel more than crap on most days. I want to feel something other than numbness and hate towards myself. I am literally my own worse enemy. I am my own bullied for like 10+ years it think I believe everything those people said to me and now says it to myself.

If I could change who I was, I would do it in a heartbeat. When I was younger, I thought people were mean to me because of my name, how I looked or because I wasn't that smart and I was shy. I still don't know why people were mean to me, but I've just got to process all that at some stage.

When I talked to the counsellor at Kids Helpline last weekend, we talked a bit, and I think I felt worse after talking to her about it. I really don't want to feel how I felt when I was bullied. It was awful.

Yes, sleep plays a big role in how we feel @tyme.

What have you been doing today?

I just took my dad for a scan, cleaned my room a bit and did some research on some jobs.

There's so much to learn in life @Birdofparadise8 .

For me, it took years to accept myself. I was always so hard on myself.

As a teacher working with children, my psychologist one day asked, "The things you say about yourself, would you ever say it to a child?" In my heart of hearts, I thought - never. My psychologist then asked, "Then why do you say it to yourself?" It hurt me to have this realisation that I was so cruel to myself. But years down the track, I have taken this in, and as I learn more about myself, I don't really compare myself with others anymore.

I find comparisons were toxic. The more I compared (or others compared me), the worse I felt about myself. Long story short, I've learnt to set my own goals. I'm not saying I obsessively love myself, but I am now cautious in setting boundaries so that things don't get to me so easily.

Work to find the real you. What are your values? Who do you want to be known as? Set yourself goals - rather than let others set them for you.

You have so much ahead of you and I'm willing to step this through with you - because you deserve it. I'll take you under my wing 🙂

Yes, it is very hard. I am not sure how I will go at that.

I hear people say that a bit. Would you say that to a child or yourself as a child? I definitely know I wouldn't, but I still do it to myself now.

well, goal wise I would like to be a kind, compassionate person, friendly and someone younger people can look up to.

Thank you @tyme, that means a lot I appreciate that and your help.

Yes, it definitely was hard. I was bullied from the age of like 5-18, so the majority of my life through the age of 11-17 was the worst.

That sounds hard talking to my inner child @creative_writer

I would probably say that it was okay I am sad about what I have been through, and that it will be okay and I can get through this. @creative_writer

My psychologist told me to get a photo of my child self and see if I could say those 'nasty' things to that child in the photo @Birdofparadise8 .

Thoughts?