Not Coping

Chatting to you right now @Birdofparadise8 🙂

In a bit, I was going to slow down the action on my computer, and transition to my mobile while I try to watch some tv...

What are you up to dearest?

Thanks @Former-Member

What are you going to watch?

I'm just in the living room, still trying not to cry. Did you read my post before about what I said about the pool and my tears?

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

I'm not sure. Just being here with me is helpful in helping me feel less alone.

Did you see the post about me feeling like I'm swimming in a pool of my tears? Because that's how I'm feeling. It's like I'm drowning, and I can't get out. I have this hollow feeling in my chest that won't go away. @Former-Member

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@Former-Member

not quite sure as yet what Ill run my eyes over on Netflix this evening @Birdofparadise8 🙂

Was thinking to check out what is new..

Im sorry you feel close to tears dearest - I didn't see your post... can you please give me the page number and I'll go find it?

xx

Have a look at 3 Body Problem and the gentleman @Former-Member

Here is what I posted on Thursday, I think. I still feel the same.

I don't know. Crying for number one, music, TV, but that's things I do anyway, so not much.

I just feel so defeated. It was as if I was waiting for a pin to drop, and once it did, it burst me open.

I don't know if my depression is getting worse, or I'm just a bad person, too sensitive or if I can't cope on my own. Maybe I'm too sensitive to rejection as well and just perceive everything as such.

I feel like everything I do seems to be wrong (after I've done it and been told). It's like I can't do anything right anymore. I just hate the feeling of not talking to anyone. Like I'll call my family for a quick call, but other than that, no one.

How I feel right now is as if I'm trying to get out of a very deep pool that has nothing to hold on to while people watch around me and are laughing. And the pool is made with my tears.

Well, I've never thought of that before. This is in my imagination, by the way.

I think I'm being a bit dark there, @ENKELI. I'm sorry. I thought it would better describe how I feel.

What did you have fore dinner @ArraDreaming

Ah okay cool @ArraDreaming

thank you kindly for the Netflix recommendations @Birdofparadise8 🙂

Im so sorry to read you are feeling that way. I want to gently say that I do not at all view you as that same way as you have described yourself in terms of the relationship to others... I see you as a young person trying to make their way in a wide world while processing some really hard experiences in the past with peers.

I see you as inquisitive, relatable, gentle, kind, sharing, supportive, curious, and empathetic. All wonderful traits to have. If I was still teaching, it would be an absolute pleasure to have you in my class 🙂 and if we were students together at uni, I would really enjoy learning alongside you.

After a long while being emotionally and socially isolated, there is a huge steep learning curve for you to navigate, by the gist of what I understand, and this is rightly very overwhelming - it would be like landing on a new planet and being expected to know the local customs and language fluently from day one!

The fact that you care so much, and that you are seeking to do your best despite feeling the incredible overwhelm is such an admirable trait, and I want you to know I am very proud of you for persisting, despite things getting on top of you at times.

Try not to despair too deeply, you are doing well despite having some hurdles to overcome alongside you support team - look at these last few days where you have learned lots about yourself! 🙂

I have seen a you take these new things and apply them very well.