Not Coping

Howdy @Birdofparadise8 I'm pretty nifty, how are you?

That's good to hear @Jynx

No, I'm not good. I rebooked in to see my psych on Thursday.

Your risotto recipe sounds good.

Sounds really hard @Birdofparadise8

Did you get a chance to read the link I sent you yesterday?

I'm eating dinner before going to cricket tonight.

Eh, I guess. I'm just over feeling this way. I wish it would stop.

Yeah, I did about the emotional wave. I feel I'm always in the middle. The on-y end is when I go to bed @Blackbird11.

Ah, cool, are the hurricanes playing tonight? Lol, my aunt and Pop will be there.

Oh I'm safe by the way.

Yes, it sounds very hard for you at the moment @Birdofparadise8

Can you listen to something while you study?

I'm watching Australia v Sth Africa women's T20

Oh, you're not going to Blundstone arena @Blackbird11

hahah I thought that's what you were going to.

It is distracting listening to things. I lose focus.

500 words to go.

It is hard, but it's not like I can stop it. I'm doing everything I can to get better, and I'm getting nowhere.

I've made friends. I've got a roommate. Technically, I'm not alone. Yet I'm still so utterly alone inside. It's heartbreaking. How much I want comfort and something I know I won't get for a very long time.

Yes, the game is at Blundstone Arena @Birdofparadise8

You're doing so well... 500 words left is a fantastic effort 👏

It's exhausting hey. Waking up hazy, pushing through the day using your resilience, then going through the emotions and go to bed to do it all again tomorrow.

What does bring you comfort @Birdofparadise8 ?

@Birdofparadise8 glad you liked it, lemme know if you end up getting your risotto on hehe

Glad you decided to move your appt up if you're feeling crappy hun. Hope you don't mind me saying, but I was reading along about how your sessions have felt pretty circular of late. Could you maybe point that out to your psych, and ask if you could possibly change tactics or try something new? Therapists need feedback as much as anyone, they're trained in human behaviour and such for sure but, they're not mind-readers. If you're feeling frustrated or like the sessions haven't been as helpful as you'd like, you ought to express that! Your therapist is probably one of the few people whose feelings you shouldn't have to worry about (like I'm not saying treat therapists like crap, but that you're not in there to try to impress them or befriend them, the space is your healing space, and you have a right to speak up when something isn't working). My two cents!

What have you got on this arvo, anything fun or interesting?

So you are going to the game?

You mentioned Australia.

Thanks, I have one paragraph that is 300 words and another 150 so I need to push that up but it's hard finding info.

Yes it is very much so. I wake up feeling okay. Get the day going then the afternoon falls around and most nights it's just the same and trying to cope with all the emotions.

A hug which I can't get. I did order one of those squishmallow.

Talking to you and others on here. That is probably my main source of comfort right now. Also other services I use. I have a peerchat through RO tonight so that might help a bit.

Thank you for supporting me @Blackbird11

You truly don't know how much it means to me.