Not Coping

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

I see nothing, so you're better than me @tyme

What it does they move into each other and I feel to squished I don't like it. I've never liked tight things. Tight dresses, definitely not. I would hate to be around when you had to wear a corset. I would die wearing one of them.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25222-aphantasia

This really isn't the night to be crying. What if the girl comes in? How embarrassing. I've been alright all day.

My psych will quiz me on it, like, what you are feeling? I'm saying sad and alone. Can we go deeper? No. That's all I know, nothing more. Then I'll get frustrated, and he will most likely get annoyed at me as well.

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This one @tyme

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

Yes, I read all of it 🙂

Which part specifically did you want me to reply on? Sorry to be daft lol.

The tightness of hugging yourself?

The apple visualisation?

You crying?

Your psych? This part I didn't get. Did he ask if you wanted to talk more about it and you said now, or was it the other way around and he said no?

Just the crying and my psych @tyme

So, not my last session, but the one before, I would tell him I had been crying and feeling sad, lonely, worthless, etc. Then he would say why. I would be like, I don't know. I was just sad and started crying.

This happens all the time, such as tonight. So I meant he will quiz me on it again when I next see him, which isn't this week, which I'm unsure I like. I see him on the 7th, I think. Then, say we talk about it like I have previously. I get frustrated because I seriously don't know why I start crying. Sometimes, I do if I've been triggered or something in the day, but at night, like today, nothing. Today has been good up until a little while ago. I feel he will get annoyed at me because I don't know. He said it's like I'm blocked or something.

I even said at the end of the last session how I'm still crying at night and don't know why, and he said something, but nothing worth remembering because I can't.

I hope that makes a bit more sense. I'm sorry if it doesn't. I'm trying my best to word it.

Ahhh.. makes more sense @Birdofparadise8 .

I'm not sure if the crying is the main issue. Unless there is something happening behind the crying, there's really not much more to talk about.

It seems like you think crying is bad? Hence you may focus on it, when really it may not be something that needs focus? I really don't know. This is not meant to sound rude or anything. Sorry if it comes out rude. I'll give you an example:

TW: SH

Hence, seeing you don't know why you are crying, then let it be. Allow your psych to work on something else (unless you want to talk about the crying), and from there, who knows? the crying may just fall away?

btw, i cried about everything in the past too... literally everything. Not anymore though.

Yeah, I do think it's bad @tyme

He just pressures me about it like he does with everything else, which I am allowed to say no to, but I never have. I think he thinks there is something under the crying, but I don't know what. It's just sadness, etc, but then what is the sadness? He will go on and be like what are you sad about, and I don't know again. I feel like I go around in circles about why I am crying and why I am sad. It's so frustrating.

I don't know what helps to stop crying, though tyme.

The main issue is my depression and lack of self-worth. Which I'm working on with KHL with gratitude. I also think I need to work on the bullying because I don't want to get upset every time I go to Hobart and see everyone I know there.

Talking to Jynx about ADHD and all that stuff plus the imagination stuff, I feel I've got so much to ask and talk about with him; I kinda want to see if I can take my appointment back to discuss it, but he starts on Wednesday and the appointment would be Thursday so I don't know if he would reply to my email if I emailed him tomorrow.

Is it a good idea to write things down so that you can bring it for the session? @Birdofparadise8 I used to do this, but only had about 3 points max.

Sorry I couldn't reply earlier. I had a backlog to work on.

We can chat later this week. See you soon.

Yeah I do write things down for some sessions.

Would you never go over more than three things in a session from your notes or something do you mean?

All good, busy bee lots of people around here to talk to.

Have a good day off tomorrow. I hope you enjoy being back at home @tyme

Hi @Blackbird11 @ENKELI @creative_writer @Snowie @Bow @ArraDreaming @Shaz51

I hope everyone is having a nice morning.

Hi @Birdofparadise8

I hope your day goes well for you too.

Thank you, @Snowie. I have a job interview at 10:15 on zoom.

What are you doing today?