Not Coping

That's good to hear.

That's lucky then @RiverSeal

I know it's a bit hard though.

I'm more worried about my emotions and feeling sad.

Um well, I downloaded the app and opened it once. I kind of forgot about it. I'm not sure if it will help. If I write something down I'll just keep ruminating over it anyway unless I've talked it through.

Sorry, RiverSeal.

Mmm, I guess. It's hard being here. I'm trying not to cry now, it's hard to keep myself together and seem like I'm okay when I'm literally sitting at the dining table and my mum is in the kitchen maybe a couple meters away and I'm smiling and looking happy when all I want to do is break down @creative_writer

What have you been up to today?

When we can identify how we are feeling we have the ability to make choices and decisions on what to do with those feelings. Being able to acknowledge how you feel is a real strength @Birdofparadise8. From what I understand you usually like to express the emotion with crying, and I get that because it's a release and feels like we are doing something. Have you thought about what else you can do with that emotion and how to release it in another way? Journalling is one way but there are other ways too!

It's great that you downloaded the app and maybe you can explore it a bit when you are ready. 🙂

I was told a phrase by a psychiatrist who was treating me about ruminating. The thoughts are just "unwanted thoughts" which pop into our minds seemingly whenever they want. I learned to say "these are just unwanted thoughts" over and over in my mind until I found something else that was my own thought to think about. What do you think about that?

RiverSeal

I really have no idea. I just suppress and suppress until I go to bed and repeat for the next day. I will look into it a bit more. I've been busy in the daytime, but it's the night when I'm not s busy. It also doesn't help when my mum gets angry when I'm on my phone or computer at night time. When I'm trying to talk on here or elsewhere. I don't get what else could help seeing I have to sit upstairs with my parents. When I lived here lived here. I would never go into my bedroom unless it was for study, sleep, or getting changed. I wasn't allowed to watch TV in my room or just lay on my bed and play on my computer or phone. I always had to be up here. It's good and bad. At least I was around people, but also annoying at the same time, especially regarding my emotions. I could only express them if they were out if I went for a walk or was in my own car. I don't have my car anymore since I sold it.

Anyway sorry that's a long story.

Hmm okay. I could give that ago. It's not only rumination. Right now it's just the sadness and heavyness. I just wish I could seep into these feelings @RiverSeal

Some things that come to mind straight away are writing music and I'm sure our good pal Taylor Swift uses her music to express her emotions and thoughts. There's art and sketching if you have ever been into that? Writing poetry is a way of expressing your emotions in words and could be a form of journalling!! Tinkering with a car if you plan to get one again sometime or your bike and fine tuning it for your next ride maybe?

What's a way that you can think of expressing your emotions in another way?

Using the phrase really worked for me with rumination and this can often be the fuel to sadness and heaviness. I spent many years crying at and being absorbed by my emotions and it was really tough. I totally get it but in hindsight it didn't have to be that way and I learned to cope in many ways. Exercise was big thing for me, and I would push myself and let my emotions out through physical activity like swimming laps at the pool and driving my arms through the water while I thought about what was going on for me @Birdofparadise8

RiverSeal

I have been doing some textured painting, but I can't do it while I'm in hobart all my tools and pastes are packed away in Melb. Hmm, poetry I'm really bad at writing. I don't think I'd be good at that.

I won't be getting on in Melb, the public transport is a godsend compared to Hobart. The trains are so good.

I just don't know. I'm sitting here now near Mum while she is cooking some food. I'm just breathing and on here. I honestly don't know what can help while I'm here.

Exercise is good when in Melb too. I've really got into the gym again. Also, my bike once I fix that.

I just need something I can do or try while being around my parents. @RiverSeal

Do you red @Birdofparadise8? I get eBooks form the libraries and read them on my phone that way I always can get a new one anytime.

Textured painting sounds good and great that you have the stuff to do it in Melbourne. Do you have an iPad and pencil by any chance?

PT is so good in Melbourne, and I love it too!

That's great you are going to the gym! What do you like to do at the gym? Something I should do but I wasn't going when I had a membership, so I had to let it go.

"RiverSeal

I do but I have a hard copy. I can't really read up here at night, Mum will want to watch something altogether.

Sorry, I must sound so annoying right now with all the suggestions you're offering me. @RiverSeal

I do but they are in Melbourne.

PT?

I like using the leg press, hip thrust and a few other machines. I have very strong legs, but my arms are so weak lol.

There are two types of people with books @Birdofparadise8, those that like reading actual books and those that like eBooks. Maybe you can read later in bed or plan for it when you get a chance throughout the day.

Do you have Apple TV + at your parents or just on your phone? I watch Emancipation on the plane today and it was pretty good. A true love story and it's based on a true story!!

When you get home to Melbourne and if you like the idea there is a free sketching and art app Sketchbook - For everyone who loves to draw if you want to explore it for expressing your emotions and using your art skills.

I wish I had strong legs but that's something I'd have to work at if I managed to go to the gym again. I can walk for a long way which is something. My arms are weak too!!

I'm heading off for the night now, so I'll catch you another time.

Take care

RiverSeal