Not Coping

Not going to fix my bike to wet, and I still haven't had my shower, lol @creative_writer

@Blackbird11 I forgot to ask how were your fish and chips last night did you enjoy them?

Is anyone around to talk? I'm not coping very well right now.

Hi @RiverSeal

Can we talk?

Hey @Birdofparadise8 I understand that you are not coping so well tonight but do you want to tell me more about it? RiverSeal

Hi @RiverSeal

I don't even get what's wrong. I've been okay all day until about an hour ago. I've started crying, and I'm feeling so sad and lonely. Well, I'm lonely because I am alone, but I can't change that.

All week, the only person I've seen was my psych on Wednesday. How sad is that?

It's also very annoying since I was doing really well for a couple of weeks, and since about last Sunday, I had a few bad days until Wednesday, and then Thursday was a good day, and so was Friday until about 5 pm last night. Same thing today, alright though the day and then bad now. It's so frustrating how I keep going up and down. I really thought when I was coming back from Hobart to Melbourne, things would start to go in the right direction, but I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere if I go from a good day to a bad and so on.

Hey @Birdofparadise8

Thanks for letting me know what you are going through right now. I hear that you are feeling lonely and that you have been isolated since you came back from Hobart. I get that as I spent the best part of 20 years isolated and then I lost everybody that I had when I got diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2016. I had no one except my parents on the phone interest to talk to.

I have heard you talk about this before and being able to identify what you are going through is the first step to making changes and I get the impression you would like it to change. I'm no longer isolated and I don't feel lonely, I wonder would you like to talk about the steps I took to change my life?

Otherwise, what action do you feel would help you tonight?

Sitting with you and your thoughts tonight.

RiverSeal

Thank you @RiverSeal

I was isolated before, and I've only made one friend this year. He is somewhere in VIC who knows where. I do, but far away. I miss him. I haven't seen him in a while.

Yes, I want change, but I don't know how to get there.

Even my psych could see I was much lower and not as confident on Wednesday compared to last fortnight.

One good thing. I'm putting myself out there in the new year and joining a girl's brunch club it's for people around my age 20 to create friendships. You get selected by your quiz answers and put with like-minded people. Also, I'm just saying I don't choose to be lonely; it's hard meeting people my own age and making friends when they already seem to have friends. Well, that's what it is like around uni. I think more pressing than that is why I'm upset and crying, and I don't know why it's so annoying.

Wow, 20 years is a long time. How did you cope with that? What did you do?

Hey @Birdofparadise8

It's great that you have a friend that you meet this year and keeping in touch is important in maintaining friendships. Do you chat on social media or online since he lives far from you? I have a friend overseas whom I met in a Facebook group and we chat all the time and talk sometimes on the phone, I make an effort to keep in touch regularly if not daily. I have learned that I give all of myself to friendships and I make a real effort to maintain them.

I don't think that you choose to be lonely as I never chose it when I was so isolated and alone. Sometimes for people, it just happens and we don't necessarily ever understand why or what we could have done to prevent it. That's how I understand it from my experience anyways. But we can change it if we work at it and put ourselves out there. It sounds great that you are joining a girls brunch club for people around your age. Sounds amazing!!

Have you heard of Meetup? That's where I started socializing when I had no one in my life and I had some great experiences. It was really challenging but I still have dinner with a group of people each week that I met through Meetup over 3 years ago. You just rock up and not say too much about yourself, and get social connection and spend time talking with like-minded strangers in a safe environment.

What are your plans for tonight apart from the Forums and are you doing any self-care?

Take care

RiverSeal