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Something’s not right

Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Not Coping

Hey everyone how are you all?

@RiverSeal @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme @Former-Member @Eve7 @Former-Member @amber22 @Jynx @FloatingFeather

I'm not doing great at all today. I'm feeling down. I also keep beating myself up for everything and feel like I'm just failing. I need a break from everything. It's getting so hard that I don't know how to keep going anymore especially since I can't talk to anyone around me as they are leaving me or don't understand.

Hope you don’t mind me reaching out I just really need a chat and though I could come on here and vent and talk for a bit.

Thank you

24564 replies

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In response to: Not Coping

tymeModerator

Re: Not Coping

LOL... who doesn't procrastinate @Birdofparadise8 @Blackbird11 ??? Here I am looking at a my entire place which needs a good tidy-up!

As for boundaries @Birdofparadise8 , i feel the same when I go to my parents. However, they know that if they don't respect my boundaries, then I don't say with them the next time I visit... I know it's harsh... I never said that to them, but because when I'm there, I'm now the 'guest', they do what they can to make me feel comfortable.

You've only moved a few months.... give it a few years and they may change... but who knows? It's their house and it sounds like they are quite comfortable with you lol... Thought I acknowledge it doesn't make it any less frustrating, right?

I'm not staying on and will be off shortly.

I'll catch you both maybe tomorrow sometime or next week.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Well, I wouldn't come down if I've got to stay somewhere else I can't afford to pay for hotel @tyme

Mum shouldn't be touching me, and I don't need to hear them go to the toilet surely that is fair enough, don't you agree?

A few years. Mmm, I don't know.

I know it's their house, but I did live here in January, and they still didn't accept my boundaries. I don't understand why they have to be so open about things.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Are you going okay @Blackbird11?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Hi @Birdofparadise8, would you consider your relationship with parents enmeshed?

Sorry I haven’t been responding, I’ve been floating around and I am getting your tags, I just can’t motivate myself to come on as much anymore

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Hi @creative_writer

If you want me not to tag you, I can stop if you want me to.

What do you mean by enmeshed?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Lots of bells ringing there @creative_writer

What does that mean?

Did your psych help you process or deal with it?

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, my psych helped me process. I never really gave it much thought. My parents were always protective and loving, but sometimes I had different opinions to them and would feel pressurised to do what they wanted me to. I had to advocate for myself in order to seek mental health treatment since they were trying so hard to protect me. At times I do feel like they become too involved, so I just gave up talking about certain things. It has affected my relationships, I guess I’m afraid of being smothered in relationships and having others overstep on my boundaries. I have become so avoidant in relationships. Though, enmeshment might also contribute to interdependence in relationships for some people too

In response to: Re: Not Coping

Birdofparadise8Senior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

Right okay, it's a bit of a tricky one hey @creative_writer.

My mum has gotten better over the years, but when I was in high school it was hard.

In response to: Re: Not Coping

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: Not Coping

@Birdofparadise8, it can certainly be tricky. It’s just when I read your posts that I realised you may have also experience enmeshment trauma. It was different for me, different families have different experiences. I think a lot of it comes down to my mum’s separation anxiety and her own mental health struggles. She’s never been to therapy even though I do feel like it would help her if she could build a safe relationship. But I doubt she will ever trust a therapist. There is only so much I can do. My mum would be the one coming to field trips, texting me to check in I was okay if I was out with friends during high school. She has also asked what I discussed in therapy session on numerous occasions, now I don’t really bother informing them of all my appointments
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