It was awful. I got back to the hospital and couldn't stop sobbing. I just couldn't. I let it out and then went to dinner, did some painting and watched some TV @tyme
I'm still thinking about it.
Today, someone mentioned abandonment in a TV show, and I started crying. My psych will love this on Wednesday.
Also, I did talk to a nurse who was around about what happened, so you'll be pleased about that.
Why do you say, "may be upset"? I was so upset. It wrecked that day. Yesterday and today. It was the most amount of pain I had been in for three weeks. I have had some bad days while in the hospital, but this was on another level. I couldn't get up from the floor or anything. The pain was so strong. I just wanted someone there with me, but I couldn't have anyone.
Maybe I am being dramatic, or you might think it's just something small. But to me, it's not. I've had so many issues with abandonment, rejection, being left out, and being ostracised since I was 5 years old all the way to now. That's no small thing. And then seeing her and he asking me really personal questions like she cared about me really hurt. It just brought back all the pain from school, her and when my cousin wouldn't talk to me. It's like I'm driving people away.
I felt like something was trying to escape from me, but it couldn't, so I kept crying for a long time, and you tell me when you're in that low place, those two hours felt like a lifetime. It went so slowly. I was just way too overwhelmed. I hadn't felt that pain like that in a while. I normally have sadness and loneliness. But I hadn't felt the rejection, etc., pain since she rejected me in May, I think. There are a lot of built-up emotions there, I think, that came out.
Also, a few things with SANE didn't help how I was feeling either. Which I'm sure you know.
I'm going to talk about this with my psych on Wednesday. I wish it could be Wednesday tomorrow, but it's not.
