Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor01 Nov 2022, 8:17 pm AEDT

Going through your old personal stuff

I have spoken about this a little bit on here in the past but it’s pretty big on my mind andhas been for months.

Part of me doesn’t want to keep rehashing it but the other part of me finds the digging so intriguing. It’s like a train wreck you want to look away but you can’t help but looking. And that’s how at the moment doing a bit of a deep dive on my childhood.

I have lots of documents about me as a kid and I want to read them but it so hard to read others peoples descriptions and perceptions of me and reports on me as a child. I know they aren’t peoples personal veiws on me but it’s so hard to read.

I don’t get it, if professionals thought all these things about me where was the help and when it did arrive why wasn’t it around for longer?

it’s intreging but also brings up so many memories and I wish I could correct some of the paperwork and explain why I was the way I was, nobody had a clear picture of it. But on the flip side there is also a lot of things that now make sense as an adult that didn’t make sense to me as a kid or I didn’t pay attention to.

It makes me so sad. But I also look back at it and I think how far I have come and how nobody not even me probably thought I would be living the life I am now.

Has anyone else gone through this process of looking back on their old things?

45 replies

11 - 20 of 45

1 2 3...5

In response to: Going through your old personal stuff

GwynnSenior Contributor02 Nov 2022, 11:18 am AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

That's great, Jay. I was born with a developmental disability, and I recently found a carer's impact statement that my mother had made when I was about 6, including a passage about how my younger brother kept acting out to get her attention because she was so busy taking me to appointments for my disability. It kinda left me feeling like my younger brother would have been better off if I was never born. It's a tough feeling to sit with.

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Unknown userMember02 Nov 2022, 7:55 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Hey @ArraDreaming, hope you were able to rest up overnight and get a decent sleep after all that yesterday. And I think you're idea about the self childhood hug is lovely. Make sure you give your boys the hugs from here on out!

And yes @Gwynn, I have a child with additional needs and I am always trying to manage my time and energy to be spread across all of my children equally. I anticipated it would be hard for all of my kids on different levels. I hope that you have a sound relationship now with your family? Thanks for sharing too, this has made me think a lot about my own situation with love and compassion.

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor02 Nov 2022, 10:31 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

I always do @Former-Member always hugs in this house, the little one likes to hold my ear lobes for comfort, I wish I had another persons ear lobe to cuddle as a little one. And yes I got plenty of rest, we had our oldest’s first visit to school today so it was a big day for everyone, so another good night sleep to be had here.

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Unknown userMember03 Nov 2022, 7:23 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Oh @ArraDreaming, I have just started catching up on my mentions. Your response has just melted my heart. Hugs in your house, earlobe safety and big school!! You have a very peaceful and exciting house right now. I am always surprised at how much we can give back after pain and hurt. And giving to our children is one of the best self soothing strategies we can give ourselves as well.

And how was the school visit? Is he excited?

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor03 Nov 2022, 8:32 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

its taken us nearly 2 years but I feel like we’re finally just settling into the chaotic life of a family of 4, we’ve all just settled this last month or so, it’s like a zoo but more like a semi well run free range zoo now haha @Former-Member with lots of love and hugs included every day.

He loved it! It was only a 1 hr session and he got tired and upset around the 45 min mark but we’re working on it overall I would consider that a positive. he’s struggled a lot with kinder in the last 2 years and that took a lot of work so I consider attending and letting go at orientation a pretty good step. He was very happy about it though.

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Unknown userMember03 Nov 2022, 8:46 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

I was a preschool teacher for a long time and a mum of four - I think your zoo analogy is spot on. The tameness of the animals just varies from time to time. You have made me laugh 😂.

I am glad he had a good time, it is such a big change, he will be exhausted!

What did you get up to today?

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor03 Nov 2022, 8:52 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Yeah it’s once a week for the next 4 I think the structure of school over kinder will suit him better he really needs someone to provide instruction and routine which he gets to a point currently but that’s what school is all about so I think once he settles he will probably cope a lot better. just can’t Believe we have a school kid it’s crazy the last few years has flown

Today I wasn’t working, i only work casually, usually 2-3 days a week and then I am home on the other days. So spent the day doing some house stuff and had the youngest one so we went for a walk, had to get a birthday present so went to the shops. yeah just all that stuff. @Former-Member

had a little bit more of a look through my cupboard of interesting things (my box of documents and mums box of things I took from her house when she passed away) I’m not sure what prompted me but I just thought I would go through some of that stuff, and I felt ok about it too

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Unknown userMember03 Nov 2022, 9:01 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Yes, there is a lot to be said for structure and boundaries. It can make us feel safe and calm. I suppose it shows us control, and control can be comfort. How exciting for you all. Time does fly when you have kids. My eldest is 21 and it feels like a blink of an eye 👁.

Glad you get to spend time with the kids. It can be a very fun (frustrating too) time. A birthday present must have been nice outing for the young bloke.

And I am glad you are in a good mindset to look through the papers. Just make sure you listen to your intuition and only visit it when you feel up to it @ArraDreaming

xx

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor03 Nov 2022, 9:07 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

Yeah we like our time out just the two of us, get some jobs done, through bubbacino and coffee in and we are winning. easy just taking 1 out.

yeah it’s also part of me processing mums death @Former-Member I didn’t take many things from her place as I have no real emotional connection to anything she owned but I took a few small things which mean something to me or my family and sometimes I like to just take them out and look at them

In response to: Re: Going through your old personal stuff

ArraDreamingSenior Contributor03 Nov 2022, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: Going through your old personal stuff

And yes just to back to your comment about the zoo, sometimes this house feels like a zoo because we have multiple families of possums that I think are in our crawl space, a child that bites, a dog that is out of control, and what looks like the Amazon rain forest growing in our back yard. I will need to start charging for entry

11 - 20 of 45

1 2 3...5

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.