Developing a support network

Hi @Anon1975

Welcome to the forums

Most of what you have said resonates with me. The shame of who I am. The no purpose of life. The loneliness and the fight to stay here.

I have found unbelievable support on here and hope you do too.

Have you seen a GP about how you are feeling? I got in contact with a GP who has been amazing and put me into the Mental health team at the local hospital and a psychiatrist and they have also been great. So I currently have a team behind me for support.

I hope you fund the support on here that I have

Hey there @Anon1975 ❤️

Thanks so much for writing into the forums, there is so much support here for you, and I'm sure you will gain some online friends just by reaching out on here! It is a lovely community to be part of.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, feeling lonely and as if you don't have any friends to go to can be very isolating. Do you have any family members that you could reach out to have a chat with? As I have navigated my way through life, I have found a great friendship with some of my family members that I didn't have when I was younger. I note that you said you have two kids, I'm not sure of their ages, but they are always there with you in life and I'm sure they love you very much. Sometimes family can be all the friends you need for a while.

However, in saying that, it is always nice to connect with other people in the community. Are there any group based activities you can join in your local area? I have recently tried putting myself out there and joining a few exercise classes where I have met some amazing, like-minded people. The best way to find people that are similar to you, or that are interested in similar things to you, is to go to the things you love. Are there any parents at your children's school that you could connect with over a coffee? Or are there any groups that you could join to get a start with chatting to people? Also, (I'm not sure if you work), but never underestimate a good coworker friendship. They are often the ones you spend most of your days with, and are usually great foundations for friendships.

There are also a few apps that I have come across that are strictly for meeting like-minded friends. Have a look online and see if any of them resonate with you.

It can be really tricky meeting new people, but putting yourself out there is the first step. You got this!

How are you feeling otherwise? I see that you are feeling a bit low, and your children are the only things keeping you here tonight. I'm sitting with you, and supporting you here on the forums. Consider me your first forums friend 🙂

Take care,

Amber22

Hey @Anon1975, I know there will be plenty of people who will be able to offer support on this ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story. Making friends is can be so difficult, and this is such an important conversation to have.

I'm just jumping in as your friendly, neighbourhood moderator to welcome you to our wonderful community and share a few things with you.

Firstly, I noticed that you mentioned thought about not being here, but want to be here for your children. I've had similar thoughts and I know how dark they can be ❤️ Have you spoken to anyone about these thoughts before?

Secondly, I know plenty of people will share their experiences, but you can also search for "friends" or "making friends" in the search bar (I've included a picture) you can read about others ideas too!

Again, welcome to the forums ❤️

Welcome to the forums @Anon1975 I am sure you will meet lots of friendly people here.

I have had times in my life where I’ve felt really lonely and it’s hard. I do not think God is punishing you at all so please put that thought aside.

Are you able to meet others at your children’s school or if they play sport put your name on the parent roster?

Often the local library has various interest groups as well as books.

Do you have neighbours? Maybe invite one over for a cuppa.

Pets are also good to help us make friends especially if you go to the dog park on a regular basis.

Most of all I hope you feel welcome here on the forums.

Lots of love ❤️

It's so hard to feel so alone and be questioning so much.

I totally getchya. Im having a hard time doing this too.

Everything seems like such a big deal like making an effort to contact someone and they dont respond. hurts so much

Im trying to focus on discovering what I like to do and think in the future someone might like that too and we can share something interesting.

You sound like a kind Person who loves their kids dearly and doesnt want to upset anyone,

So pleased you could say something here about whats going on.

I have hope for You in having a more connected support network.

@Anon1975 Wow. Sounds like you are going through a terrible time. I’m so sorry. Are you taking care of yourself and making sure you are doing things you enjoy?

Might be a good idea to look for friends in places are of interest to you. For example if you enjoy art you can join a community art class or if it’s cooking then a cooking club. Get creative. Make it about having fun first and foremost.

it’s also best to wait to find a good friend, dont just be friend with anyone. You dont want to get caught up in a toxic friendship. Make sure the friendship is healthy with good boundaries.

You also mentioned wanting a support network. You are here so that is a start. Maybe link in with a good GP and social worker/psychologist. Join community groups and support groups as well. Don’t just dive in though. Make sure that it’s a good and safe space before you invest in it.

have you got any ideas in how you might go about this?

you also sound heavily depressed so please speak to your doctor to sort out a treatment plan for potential mental health treatments like psychotherapy and medication if you need them.

Thanks for your lovely message Amber22

i was wondering what apps are available for making friends?

I need to get on with it and stop feeling sorry for myself xx

Thank you for your lovely message Tuxedocat xx

Thanks Eve

i do have lovely neighbours and that is a great idea.

thank you xx