Struggling so hard

Hi @Ghostrider You are not alone, we are here with you and there is always someone around.

Is there anything that helps in this situation?

Would it be useful to reach out to a helpline tonight? 💝

Butterfly foundation?

Sitting with you.

Hey @Ghostrider im really sorry for the place that you find yourself at the moment. As someone who also has an ED, I know that pain, I know that place of desperation and I know that feeling of abandonment. I unfortunately don’t have any magical words or advice, but want you to know that you are not alone.
💕

Hi and welcome, @Ghostrider ...

I'm actually shocked that your treating team want a break 😞

I don't know what to say, only that I really feel for you.

Have they said how long the break will be for?

Thanks @NatureLover

Apparently it’s because I’m stuck and not making progress. So I’m supposed to go away and show I’m committed to recovery and come back in a month.

i just wasn’t prepared for the intensity of what this has thrown up for me and it feels like the people I was relying on to help with my mental health have just cut me off when I need them the most.

Thanks @Bow

Have you found anything that helps when you feel like this? They’ve suggested distress management techniques, but I don’t find any of them helpful.

Thanks @Paperdaisy

I tried some helplines, but was just on hold for hours, I will keep trying. Thank you for the suggestion 💜

@Ghostrider I'm sorry to hear 😞

I would feel devastated if my treatment team did that.

Have they told you what they expect of you in exact terms? (You don't have to mention it here as we are not allowed to be explicit in terms of amounts of food, etc.) I'm just asking so you know what's expected of you and are not just left dangling in confusion?

Sending you good wishes...

@NatureLover

Just regular and adequate nutrition and working on trying new activities outside of exercise. I am struggling to get through the days because my GP has upped my meds and I feel like a zombie so the thought of trying anything new seems impossible, and I’m so scared I’m going to fail and they’re going to kick me out for good.

They haven’t been clear on how I’m supposed to document this as they’ve unfollowed my food logs and haven’t stated how I provide evidence, I’ve asked for clarification but as yet I haven’t received feedback.

I’ve tried so hard and it just feels like nothing I do is ever good enough. I feel so totally alone and like the people who were there to support me have abandoned me, even though they assure me that isn’t the case, but I can’t seem to see it any other way.

Good morning @Ghostrider, it's nice to meet you ❤️

I've just been catching up on your story and I feel really connected to your pain. Thank you for sharing.

I think it's totally understandable that your team requiring a break is taking it's toll. It is a massive change for you to cope with. Please be gentle on yourself and take it one step at a time ❤️

It sounds like a scary time for you at the moment. What is the fear telling you about treatment/recovery?

Something I've found useful in my own recovery (still ongoing with my ED), I've really tried to imagine what I want my future to be. The feelings I'll be feeling, how I interact with people and how I think about myself. Focussing on the future helps me think about the small steps I can take to getting there. Even if it's just a teeny-tiny step.

I'm looking forward to talking with you more ❤️

Thank you @Former-Member it’s nice to meet you too.

It’s stirred up some feelings that I can’t put my finger on, but some sort of trauma response maybe relating to abandonment. I am really struggling to function and I’m terrified that I’m not going to be able to do the things that they want me to do and that they’re going to kick ne out completely. 4 weeks seems like such a long time when I’m struggling to get through a day.

I really want to recover, but there’s so much about my life right now that I enjoy and it feels like they are trying to take that away from me and replace it with other things.

I’m struggling to come up with ideas of other activities that don’t involve exercise because that’s legit the only thing I enjoy. Which is why they keep saying I’m stuck… but it feels like they are saying my life is wrong somehow. That I am wrong.