Overwhelming sadness

Hi @Greysky

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being so courageous in sharing your long journey with mental ill health. It sounds like you have had such a tough ride in your life with the struggles you describe. My heart goes out to you. It also sounds like you've done all the right things in order to get well but they haven't done so much. I'm hoping you can find some social connections here on the forums. It's a wonderful community that many members find comfort in. There are lots of social spaces where you can connect with others who have similar interests here https://saneforums.org/t5/Social-Spaces/bd-p/le-forum-0003

I'm wondering if there are some small steps you could take towards making some face to face social connection in your community. You mentioned the library so perhaps there are some groups there that might interest you? I know what a daunting step this can be as an introvert myself but maybe if you could take a support person with you on your first two outings to such a group? I think this sort of thing could go a long way in making your feel better about your life. Social connections are so important as humans and can really affect our mental health if we don't have any (as I'm sure you're aware)

I'll also tag some of our wonderful members who are great at welcoming new members. OCD @Anastasia @AussieRecharger @BPDSurvivor @Faith-and-Hope @HenryX @jem80 @Judi9877 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51 @ShiningStar @Snowie @Hams @wellwellwellnez @Zoe7 @Aniela @Boo13 @maddison @pinklollipop15 @Eve7

Sending hugs

Hanami

Hi @Greysky,

Welcome to the Forums - it's lovely to have you here. Thank you for sharing your story with us - I know it's not always easy, especially the first few posts.

I think from all you have said you are brave and are a fighter - you have been through some very challenging and difficult situations in your life. I think you should give yourself the credit that I can see you deserve - you have raised three men despite your difficult circumstances. I would think most people who would have experienced what you have lived through whilst dealing with your own issues would also have struggled - that doesn't make you weak, that makes you human. How good is it that despite your adversities you are still trying and still reaching out for connection.

I would imagine being an introvert and a HSP would mean you spend a lot of time in deep thought. Is there anything you like to do that can help ease you mind and distract you for a while and brings you joy. Maybe a jigsaw puzzle, craft, music, a funny TV show etc? I would also consider myself a HSP so whilst I think that it is a good trait because it typically means you are empathic to others, it can also be exhausting taking on other peoples emotions on a regular basis.

Please don't think you're weak - I think you should see yourself as if you were looking through the eyes of your best friend who has watched your life unfold. Then I would imagine you would see a really brave, resilient person who keeps on fighting for a better life.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

Hi Hanami,

Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions.

I do hope I can make some connections here with people who have had similar experiences, as you just understand better and communicate with the same language and emotion, if that makes sense. And I feel it won't be quite so daunting, because its online, rather than face to face, particularly in my present state.

I don't think I would like to attend a community group situation, especially at present, I had considered it, but dismissed it too.

Thank you again.

Greysky

Hi @Greysky

I totally understand not feeling like joining a face to face group right now. I remember when I was feeling so anxious and didn't want to be around strangers. One thing I found helped me feel a little better was when I had to go to the shops I would force myself to smile at a random person, or make a really short conversation with a stranger. It felt like I was actually being a bit social.

I look forward to seeing you around the forums!

Hanami

Thank you.

Yes it feels good and lightens your own load a little when you think of others. I often smile at passers by and especially older people (even older than me haha) to try to brighten their day a little.

And in my work at a supermarket, I love helping customers find something they are after, and have a little chat about how they want to use it, or the weather or whatever seems right.

Thanks again

Greysky

Hello @Greysky

I was in a sadness mode for a couple of decades, after dealing with suicide and abusive marriage. I persevered with some work despite it while children needed activities etc, but became very socially isolated and chronically exhausted. Sometimes I am not sure if my 'depression' was a sleep debt, an exhaustion debt, as well as partly due to grief.

When I joined this forum 7 tears ago I was socially isolated except for medical contact. The give and take of the forum and ability to post any time of day and night was really helpful reducing my sense of isolation. It took a while and I have had a few bumps irl as I reached out to people, but gradually I am getting better at managing the social side of things and feeling more connected irl too.

I have also tapped into a sense of humour I never had before which is empowering and helps with socialising. I do not like making fun of others, but finally being able to laugh at things has been liberating. I am getting more assertive about laughing at the things I genuinely find funny, and not colluding with people who want to ridicule someone. Anyway the sadness is lifting, though can easily come back, I am getting the hang of not letting it take over again.

Welcome

Apple

Love this @Appleblossom

So wonderful what you've found here ❤️

Hi Floating Feather,

Thank you so much for all the encouraging words. My inner voice often forgets to be kind, like a friend would, so I have to work on not being so hard on myself.

Yes, I spend most of my time in my head, and the rest with my nose in a book. That is my greatest joy at the moment. I have always loved reading, and love retreating into other worlds and lives. Also love watching the wind blow threes around on my property, hear the birds sing. By keeping things as calm and simple as I can, I cope better.

Greysky

Hi Appleblossom,

Thank you for the reply. And for sharing your experiences, much of this I recognise in myself - especially the combination of emotional exhaustion, sleep debt and depression.

I look forward to testing the waters and making contact on the forum, never been on one before, so a new thing to navigate. (does everyone see all that is posted and the replies?)

Yes sometimes there are times when no one else(if you had anyone) was around to cry on their shoulder, or get some support, so being available all the time, the forum seems like it will be great.

Hhmm, I always say I don't have a sense of humor. But I do relate to your words, I hate ridicule and teasing and practical jokes but don't often speak up against it.

I guess that's a key isn't it, not to let the sadness take over, when you've had it for so long I know now it will never be gone completely, but I can't let it take over again.

Thanks again

Greysky

@Greysky

Yes all the posts are public which is why anonymity is important. It can be tricky for me figuring out how much is identifiable when I have posted here for so long.

I thought I had no sense of humour, but recently figured it was cos I did not want to join into the bad side of it, as probably been the butt of it, but had laughed really hard at some moments in reading a good book. That convinced me I did have some humour in me somewhere, and eventually dug it up and worked on it.

Because the forum is supposed to remain anonymous there is a limit to the connections made on here, but in this Brave New World, make it work for you.

I had been up at nights a lot and found a n ight owl buddy. Since then I have re-regulated my body clock back to days, and recently, developing some good contacts and activities irl. Access to the forum during Covid was very helpful with everything else being limited.

There may be less traffic on here than seems by the stats, so be patient for replies and for a range of people to come by. One beauty of the forum can that many different types of people can co-exist on here.

Some young posters seem to need instant responses, and that does not seem to be the best way to approach the non emergency aspect of a forum like this.

Take care