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Something’s not right

Struggling: TW suicide

Struggling: TW suicide

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.

1711 replies

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In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Bow I didn’t manage to distract myself much even though I wanted to take my mind off things, it felt like it was too much. I hope you’ve been able to manage things okay this afternoon ❤️

Hi @N1812345 I don’t think we met before. Sending you lots of positive vibes ❤️

@tyme I’m so stuck. Like I don’t know what to do. How long am I going to need to process things? I guess I feel so useless for not making enough progress is therapy and for increased suicidality over the past few month. Like am I doing something wrong that I keep ending up here? You would’ve thought attending in person classes would help but it doesn’t really cut it. I would have thought making changes to my life would help. I led a very isolated life for a long time, and things were crazy during covid. But I haven’t been able to bounce back.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer - what do you think will help? I know this can be a very difficult question. DO you think reaching out to support others can in turn make a difference to your life?

I really don't know @creative_writer .

I think it is about finding meaningful activities in life. However, what I find meaningful may not necessarily mean you find them meaningful.

For example, some people find exercise or engaging in art meaningful; however, I don't. I find these things a chore.

For me, hanging out with kids, engaging with people on the forums, working are activities I DO find meaningful.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Just waiting for daughter to go to bed and then I’m going to go myself @creative_writer I’m actually tired, so that helps.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Have a restful evening @Bow .

Hugs, tyme

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme I’m like why am I not satisfied. I went to a family gathering yesterday but came back disappointed that I was not able to connect like I wanted to. Same thing happens at uni. Like my psychologist suggested trying to connect with people to ease loneliness but I still feel so disconnected. But then again I don’t feel safe around people. I want a meaningful relationship not a superficial one. I’m just not good at meaningful relationships.

@Bow I hope you rest up well ❤️

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Makes sense @creative_writer . Do you think meaningful relationships have to begin on a superficial level? Some relationships take years to build up.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can, and that's all anyone can ask.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme meaningful relationships can take a while to form. But honestly I find quality over quantity of relationships matter. I’m not getting what I need. I’m not getting any better this way. I’m processing my trauma really slowly too. I’m stuck on replay years later and have been in therapy for so long. It feels like somewhere I’ve gone wrong.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Do you think you need a break from therapy so you are thrown in the deep end to practice the skills you have gained @creative_writer ? You may surprise yourself like I surprised myself when I was discharged from therapy. I did not feel ready AT ALL! But it was time for me to swim on my own.

Yes, I was scared; Yes, I did fall at times; Yes, I was upset. But it was worth it. I had to grow from it. To stop relying on therapists.

But this is only my experience. I'm not saying you should cut off supports. That is up to you to discuss with your therapist.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme I don’t think it’s so much that I need a break. I was having infrequent appointments (I believe I had a few month gap in between too) with my psychologist earlier this year and things got escalated after that. I think I need a change in some way. Like how do I process these emotions that have become trapped in my body? Do I try an alternative therapy like somatic therapy. But I don’t know if that’s covered by Medicare. I’m desperate about how to get this all out. Like how do I do it?

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Let me have a think about how to answer the 'how' @creative_writer . I'll get back to you. I think it's an important question that deserves more than a 5 minute response.

461 - 470 of 1,711