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creative_writerSenior Contributor
I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
Captain24Senior Contributor
I don’t think anything will lift my nothingness @amber22. I went for a walk earlier with a friend that has come to town for a visit and I still felt nothing. I have spoken to my MH nurse and we are going to discuss it with the psychiatrist on Thursday.
I was detached for a while too @creative_writer. I just buried it. Then it came up again, something that the priest said during a sermon brought it all flooding back. That’s when I felt like I dealt with it. The shame is the hardest thing to get passed. But the shame isn’t yours. I don’t know that I have healed from it but I have moved passed it. But only since mentioning today has it made me realise that some of the things I have done to keep others happy have stemmed from my SA.
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
amber22Senior Contributor
Hey @Captain24!
That sounds great that you are going to see your psychiatrist on Thursday! Talking to them about it is definitely a great idea. ❤️
I'm sorry your walk didn't make you feel any better, but please recognise how amazing it is that you went on this walk for your mental health. Even though it didn't make you feel better, you still got the motivation to do it and that is great!
Take care,
Amber22
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
Captain24Senior Contributor
Hi @creative_writer.
The only thing I haven’t told my team about is the SA but I will when I see
my nurse next. Until last night I didn’t realise how much it has affected some of my decisions. I have found being completely honest has helped them to understand me better. I even told my nurse everything I have done in my last elevated mood. She had no judgement and didn’t think I was crazy. But I feel completely comfortable with her.
It’s up to you with what you say but that is just my experience
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
tymeModerator
Hugs @creative_writer ,
I'm hearing you.
Crying all day can be such a relief, but also very tiring. I hope you find a way to open about about whatever you feel you are able to.
Perhaps you are overthinking it? How about you let it just take it course - it the opportunity arises, take it. If not, also take that?
You can come for a cuppa at Share a cuppa? i'll make you one.
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
tymeModerator
That's tough @creative_writer - to want to wake up and start afresh, but just not waking to feel it.
I hope things turn around for you. Is it raining where you are? Would a walk help?
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
tymeModerator
I hope tomorrow will be a better one 🙂 I'll be on in the evening some time 🙂 @creative_writer
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
TW SA
I spoke to my peer support worker today. I told her about SA, it went okay. I didn’t have anything to worry about. It was relieving in a way but feeling really exhausted and drained now. It’s such a heavy load to carry. I’m always so self-conscious about what people would think, but it is true supportive people are out there but it’s still hard to trust. I just hope I can move past the shame, it’s hard not feeling like damaged goods and feel dirty. I don’t even know how I’ll cope if I went into a romantic relationship.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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