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Something’s not right

Struggling: TW suicide

Struggling: TW suicide

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.

1711 replies

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In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I was able to talk through some stuff. But I still have so much within me, it feels impossible to get it all out. I just feel so shitty right now and agitated. I thought I would be good without PRN, so didn’t have it last night. But this agitation is driving me insane so might need to have it tonight. High energy states can also contribute to migraines whether it’s a bout of agitated depression or euphoria.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer have you ever tried writing down your thoughts that feel impossible to get out? Sometimes it helps but it is only a suggestion.

I have been relying on PRN lately and if that's what you need then so be it. Sometimes it helps just get us through safely.

I am here if you need to talk and to get some things out if you want.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I called the mental health triage and got referred to community mental health. I think I’ll be taking PRN today. I’m so scared, I don’t know what I am doing. Did I almost take my life the other day? I wasn’t me. I don’t know what happened, I turned into a broken and vulnerable child. I’ve never really taken my life before, but have been so close on a few occasions and have engaged in preparatory behaviours.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

If you called someone @creative_writer then that shows that you want to fight this. It takes so much strength and courage to do this.

I can understand trying to take your life. I have done in the past and feel so much regret that I did it and regret that I failed. It certainly brings up a lot of emotions within us.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie it’s hard in the moment when you feel so trapped. I remember feeling so torn between fighting and giving up. MH struggles are real and hard. I just need to get enough sleep tonight because I am exhausted emotionally and physically. I can sleep in tom.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer it is hard in the moment and I totally understand those feelings. They pull us in every direction and get so overwhelming at times.

Please remember that we are here for you, through the good and bad times.

I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight. It can have such a big effect on our MH.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I really appreciate you being there, Hon. I know things have been hard for you too. At least I don’t have anything tom morning so it will be good if I can sleep.

I also have prep work to do tom for guests that are coming over this weekend with cleaning the house and all. I also need to remember to wash makeup brushes too, I’ve been so lazy and haven’t been wearing much makeup for a long time since I keep forgetting to wash them.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I'm glad I can be here for you @creative_writer

I hope the forums are helping too.

Hopefully you can get what you need done tomorrow plus a sleep in that is well deserved.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Snowie I do have some social anxiety around Saturday. Like I don’t know these people really well, and they are only distant relatives, but they are still blood relations. Maybe it’ll be good for me to have things to do, and to socialise. It can be really hard to push yourself sometimes, but sometimes it’s what you need. I don’t even need to do all the prep work myself because I have my family doing bits and pieces too.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer I'm glad you don't have to do everything yourself and that your family is helping.

At least if things get too much you can escape to your room for a few minutes. It might not be much but at least it will give you a time out. Maybe have something in your pocket that you can use. I always have little fidget toys in my pocket, in my room, in my handbag, really anywhere I go.

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