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Something’s not right

Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor02 Aug 2022, 3:29 pm AEST

Struggling: TW suicide

I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.

1711 replies

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In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

Unknown userMember03 Sept 2022, 10:07 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Night @creative_writer and @Captain24 , hope you both get some rest tonight 💜

In response to: Struggling: TW suicide

NatureLoverSenior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 7:02 am AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@creative_writer wrote:
Thoughts have started getting worse 😔.

Really sorry to hear, I can empathise @creative_writer 😞

I'm glad your psych appt helped a little.

I hope your hayfever meds arrive soon! That way hopefully your nights won't be so bad...

💜

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Captain24Senior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 10:00 am AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hope today is a better day for you @creative_writer

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 4:10 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Former-Member resting up last night did help a bit. Feeling a bit better, just hope it doesn't get worse later today. Sometimes things can feel worse later in the day ❤️

@NatureLover I do see my mental health clinician (from the intensive program I joined) tomorrow so I can always talk about how things have been. I am glade my mental health team have been understanding that it's hard for me to share the deeper personal stuff, but it's still been helpful to have that support ❤️

@Captain24 feeling a bit better so far today. Just hoping it holds up. I hope today is a better day for you ❤️

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Captain24Senior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 4:29 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Glad things feel a little better for you @creative_writer hold onto that hope

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 7:49 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@Captain24 it's still not great but it's just reality, I am safe that's what matters. I wish it was easier to describe the chaos in one's head, and it was easier for other people to understand. In some ways I feel like I'm failing myself and other people, like I'm not coping as well as I should. I am always so conscious about what I say to others, I don't want them to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed because of me.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

tymeModerator04 Sept 2022, 8:05 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Hello @creative_writer - I just wanted to you to know that I'm listening. I hear what you are saying. Do what's right for YOU. You deserve it.

tyme

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Captain24Senior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 8:14 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

Being safe is good @creative_writer

I completely understand the chaos and worrying about others. Just try and be true to yourself. You are the most important part of this journey.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

creative_writerSenior Contributor04 Sept 2022, 8:37 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme and @Captain24 sometimes my perfectionist tendencies get the best of me. Sometimes I'm so torn between speaking out or staying silent. But I've also learnt you can talk to someone you love but it's not always the best thing because they just don't know what to do. I've sort of internalised what I thought my parents would want me to do. Yes, I may be an adult but I am still living with them. I guess I am just frustrated, I told my mum I was having flashbacks, and she spoke to my dad about it briefly. All they said was to pray more, which I don't see anything wrong with. But they didn't really sit down and speak to me. I think they don't feel comfortable speaking about it. It makes it feel like I'm supposed to suck it up and deal with it myself, like it's not appropriate to talk about it. Sometimes I want to be comforted.

In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide

tymeModerator04 Sept 2022, 8:46 pm AEST

Re: Struggling: TW suicide

I know from experience that there are some cultures that do purely that @creative_writer . They inadvertently imply "Don't talk about it - just suck it up".

I don't remember a SINGLE moment in all my years of being alive when my parents spoke to me about how I felt. Like you, I internalised everything. That was the culture. You simply just don't talk about feelings, nor do you show emotions.

This doesn't mean they don't care about me... now I can see that that's probably how they were also brought up!

I don't know. My parents didn't even tell me to seek prayer! It was simply a no-go zone.

So I hear you @creative_writer . I'm sure many others around the world are in the same boat.

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Aboriginal flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.