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creative_writerSenior Contributor
I have been struggling a lot lately with suicidal thoughts. It’s become a daily occurrence and it’s been really overwhelming to cope. I am safe right but having to fight this is very exhausting. I feel so trapped, I am tired of living in pain, fear and shame. I feel like a burden to people and unimportant.
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
Unknown userMember
Here with you @creative_writer, sounds like some really awful thoughts and feelings you are sitting with today ❤️
I feel like so often, we can feel let down by people and systems we expect to be protecting us, and this can manifest towards ourselves as self-blame, self-shame.
It sounds to me like a pretty powerful act of agency you took to get the support you need, especially in an environment that was telling you it was wrong. You are not expected to know how to navigate the complexities of MH on your own, you are not alone.
You are welcome to hide under that rock if that is what feels safe for you today. Take all the time you need and just know, we are right beside you, sitting patiently until you feel ready to poke your head out again 💜
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@Former-Member ❤️ been drowning in so much shame lately. I keep feeling like there is something wrong with me. Feelings of shame have been stronger lately, maybe the argument on Tuesday sparked it. It’s been to the point where I feel suicidal, though I am trying to stay safe. Shame makes me feel unworthy, unloveable, worthless, too damaged. It’s been ingrained in me that discussing mental health results in being stigmatised and that people’s judgements matter a lot. I haven’t been able to feel safe around people because of my own trauma history and I feel like I have to not only cope with my own anxieties but also my parents.
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
BowSenior Contributor
Hey @creative_writer just wanting to pop by to say hi. I often read your posts, sorry I don’t reply or hit the support, but I relate to so much of what you share. I’m sorry things are so difficult for you at the moment, hoping that you are managing to get through today
💕
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
Unknown userMember
My heart really goes out to you @creative_writer, its a lot of other people's stuff you have to carry and bear, let alone your own. I hear how loud and present it has been for you lately ❤️
I know for me, that shame and hopelessness is so much bigger and heavier when I am feeling vulnerable, hurt and/or lacking in my resources. I wonder if trying some little acts of self-compassion today might be due? I'm not sure what self compassion means to you, but I cannot do the whole "i love you" "you are worthy" to myself in the heavy moments. I might try showing myself compassion/my worth through eating something nourishing/healthy for my system, washing my hair or frankly, wrapping myself up in my doona and being in bed. Your feelings and experience deserve to be held.
@Bow 💜
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
@Bowwinging it right now. I hope you are doing well💞.
@Former-Member❤️ I think self compassion would help. I have affirmations that I can do, but they feel so fake right now. I think I do feel hurt after the argument and have to make do with all the resources that are available to me. I don’t have an appointment until Thursday.
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
Unknown userMember
I'm so with you how those affirmations can feel vvv phoney @creative_writer but I cant help but feel like sometimes the "winging it" can be the way out, or the start to it anyway 👽 I'm sorry that you're sitting with hurt ❤️❤️ it's a good time to go gently with yourself. I'm not sure if you ever reach out to the SANE helpline, but if you feel like it during the week, please feel free to for some extra support whilst things are tough.
SANE Support; https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Struggling: TW suicide
Lozza90Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Struggling: TW suicide
tymeModerator
Hi @creative_writer @Lozza90 🙂
Good to see you both here.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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