Struggling: TW suicide

@tyme it is. But I doubt my parents would ever accept me seeking support from this service. But I suppose they are just being protective over what I share in therapy, but it can be annoying. They don’t know my psych knows about it.

Oh @creative_writer . Sounds like there's a lot to consider....

I really don't know what to say.

@tyme I feel so torn between connecting to a service that might help me, but I would have to do that without telling my parents.

I'm so sorry this is the case for you @creative_writer .

As I mentioned yesterday, I also have a very conservative background. When I was of age, I sought my own supports. I moved interstate and was connected with the most helpful supports. I somehow do not think this would have happened if I stayed where I was. When I moved interstate, I lived alone. And i think that's really why I got the supports i did. That is, I did not have a 'carer' at home that I could be sent off to.

To this day, I have NEVER been open with my parents about my MH. As parents, I'm sure they could sense something wasn't 'right'. Yet in my heart, I knew I had to take this journey myself - without them.

Please note. This is MY story. I cannot tell you what to do, or not do. Let your heart guide you.

Hugs, tyme

@tyme living under their roof makes it harder. They ask me who I am with, who I am talking to. Like why am I obliged to tell them? It is possible to do it without informing them, but this guilt feels too much like I’m doing something wrong. I have to really argue for what I believe in. People don’t often realise how much overprotective parenting can affect their children.

I hear what you are saying @creative_writer . I acknowledge the challenges you are facing. Ultimately, it is your decision.

Sitting with you. I'll support you whatever choice you make.

@tyme ideally I would want to heal old wounds because on the long run it’s worsened my mood disorder symptoms. I am very sensitive to stress. Like I know I need to gain a sense of autonomy but it’s been hard and the only way I’ll get more freedom is after getting married. It’s sucks. I don’t even have to do in person consults with CASA so I don’t need to tell them where I am, I think CASA does telehealth too.

My dear, @creative_writer . Do what you feel is right.

I'm not sure marriage will be a 'freedom' either? Thoughts? Or do you mean freedom from your parents?

@tyme I really want to explore this in my next psych session. In regards to partners, I think I would be choosy only because I like being autonomous and being able to do my own thing. I want to be able to make my own decisions without feeling like I am obliged to do what my parents want. I don’t know how to explain to them, they’ll say they gave me the opportunity to make decisions during my life, but those decisions happened after advocating for myself.

I think that word 'autonomous' is such a scary word for parents such as mine @creative_writer . Probably yours too? It rubs against their culture/tradition so much even though I was born in Australia, live in Australia, and grew up in Australia....

It's funny though. All my cousins are married to those of other cultures. This would send my ancestors to the grave if they were still alive I reckon! I have Spanish, Russian, Sri Lankan, Indian, Dutch, Australian, Filippino, Singaporean mixes amongst my extended family!