Losing my grip

I’m really sorry your feeling this way @Historylover and really sorry that you have so much distress and distrust when engaging in these activities. I hope that shifts for you real soon as I’m sure there could be the opportunity for meaningful connections.

what kind of activities are they? Sometimes I’d like to be involved in some external activities…

They are art, @Bow. Meaningful relationships are what I am seeking. Not even necessarily friends, just genuine, human interaction that doesn't leave me feeling like I'm being circled by predators.

One is with an art therapy group in a community service setting which I approached for help when I was in the direst straits at least a year ago, likely considerably more–even 18–24 months ago. I was absolutely desperate and didn't know which way to turn. As always happens, I just wasn't the right fit for their groups–or any other, it seems. No-one can ever help me despite the vast array of 'help' available. Out of the blue, I was rung last week to see if I was interested in the art therapy group.

Forgive me for being curious, sceptical, suspicious as to why they couldn't help me when I was in the direst straits, yet can now 'help' me when I've managed to heal considerably by my own efforts, but I've had this tactic used on me many times. They all abandon me until I break, and then they move in and pretend they are my friends. (Yeah, right!). My family tried the same tactic, but a convenient time didn't happen. They could assess my current state during telephone calls between my parents, with whom I was in regular contact, and my daughters, and were aware that I just hadn't broken sufficiently.

I have a neighbour (among many others) who tried this tactic too. He used to play chicken with me whenever I was walking past his house as he was entering or leaving his property. It happened about 4 times, and another when he had been mowing, and couldn't resist the temptation to rush out onto the footpath and cross right in front of me. I never broke stride. The following xmas he knocked on my door and left a gift from his wife and him. I gave him a written response he wasn't expecting and haven't had any trouble since.

.

So, to answer your question @Bow, art, simply art and a whole lot more in the unspoken undercurrent.

@Historylover

Cooooeeee.

Moods and their ups and downs are enuff to drive me mad. Mine have been up&down, and then I got Covid again. Thought maybe I had it, but just confirmed an hour ago by a lady I had contact with, so I have an excuse for being low.

I liked @wellwellwellnez phrase ... something about thought stacking loop ... and the Huberman link. He is usually good value so long as we draw the line at spending any money.

How things are decided in that art therapy group sound tricky. Sad that it put you on another downer. It sounds like a great activity, but if it messes with your head to this extent, then something is up.

Most people have their agendas, and some shielding may help. I am getting better at not letting my hopes get too high.

Did you get a bad sense from the community centre or the person running the group?

Cooee to you too, @Appleblossom.

Sorry to hear you have got Covid again. I haven't had it yet...

I'm feeling much better now that I have vented my spleen and recovered. Thank you to all of my responders. I'm very grateful. I'll see what next week brings.

Doing alright now @Appleblossom, hope you're alright too.

'bye for now.

Hey @Historylover !

Good to see you. 🙂

Hope you have a great weekend. I'll be around on the weekend if you need a chat.

tyme

Do not worry @Historylover I tend to get mild cases. Just funny to realise there is physical reason for low energy.

Glad posting about it helped.

I'm getting back on board again, @tyme. I've been left with enormous trust issues and trusting is very risky. Will I get burnt again? Thankfully my next group isn't for a few days and I have time to calm, re-assess and steady myself. Past experiences sure do stick with us! As they should really, they are self-protective.

Have a good weekend. Take care.

As I just posted to Tyme, @Appleblossom, I'm recovering and working to make this art group beneficial. I really did enjoy it, but past experience plays havoc.

Pleased to hear you're only having a mild case of Covid. Will it ever end–or stop mutating, or inviting others such as monkey pox along?

Anyway, have a good weekend. Take care.

Happy to hear you feel a bit better, @Historylover 🙂

Sorry you have Covid again! @Appleblossom

Have a good one, @NatureLover.👍