Please, not this again

Your right by describing it as a merry go round! I have been and still am in a very similar situation so I'm feeling ya! For me though I am trying my hardest to just find inner peace, I am not perfect therefore I don't expect my mental health to be either. Maybe don't look for a fix, I recently have accepted that I may be like this for the rest of my life and am sick of putting a label on myself so I thought screw I'm going to go read up on Buddhism just to see a complete different side on thinking, acting and other views on morals. I am not religious at all but I am finding this to be very eye opening. Maybe you could try something along these lines, something you thought you would never ever do in a million years it might just be what you need 😊

Hi @meggles1 & @Bhappie
I've been where you are now. I tried going off meds 3 times until the penny finally hit the mark. I ended up sticking with the meds changes and adjustments. I'm still on meds 26 years later but...... I am finally happy and truly well and I'll be perfectly content to continue on meds for the remainder of my life. Why? Because I now have a life worth living. I know that had I chosen to get off meds again I would not be alive today.

I've was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and was totally convinced that I would never experience recovery. It's been a long, hard battle involving not only a huge amount of help from the psychiatrist, psychologist and my GP and that's not factoring in the hard yards myself.

I'm so pleased that I stuck with the meds and all the appointments. It has proven to be time and money well spent.

Wishing you both well whatever you decide. 🎶

Hi @meggles1, welcome! Glad you're reaching out here. I like the term you use - 'fellow survivors' - there's plenty of us here. Also glad to hear you have a verbal contract with your family, and yourself, that "suicide is not an option" Not acting on suicidal thoughts. Very cool!

I can also relate to you're being a health professional of a floundering system we've lost faith in - so many echoes of nasty tearoom chatter, bad policies and funding frustrations. Why would anyone want to go back to a broken system that failed us in so many ways? And especially when we're so vulnerable?? We're not fools. However, its all we really have to work with. We have to pick out the bits that have worked or are most likely to help us personally.

We're all different but when i pick up the signs of decline in my life, like you have, this is what i do:

- first, start with a personal review and adjust my lifestyle to reduce stress, optimise body chemistry.

- visit GP for an antidepressant that worked before and ref to Psychologist (Psychiatry don't work for me.

- Save the ER & Hospital admission pathway as a last resort - to preserve life, nothing else.

- utilise helps available - crisis numbers, chat sites, support groups. And you're own personal resources you've learned and prepared.

- Follow through with the x6 - 10 subsidised psychology visits, even when it's hard, and do the work, the exercises...

Its a case of staying afloat until you get life balance back. It will come.

Hope this helped a little.

Be kind to yourself 🌷

Wow - wat a thrill to know people 'out there' care and take time to encourage me. I'm so glad I risked putting myself out there. I relate to much of wat was said and it's given me impetus to put a personal plan together to dig myself out of this pit again. Thank you all so much.

I really relate to thinking of m/h in a completely different way

Your not alone hun, there's is always light at the end of the tunnel ✌️️

Yes I discovered Sane about a year ago and it has been more help to me than any other shrink and I have see too many to count over 20 years? Our stories of mental health are different but it's nice to find a place where when we struggle we can reach out and find a caring group who's wisdom helps so much? Talk anytime and on this journey find what works for you- take care of yourself. Light and love to you always.

You just never know where help may come from. Although I have some lovely friends to talk to I really feel they must (or will) get sick of my periods of being unwell. Unless you have lived experience I don't think you get that you may need support for the current episode as much as you did in the early days. The distress and despair can be just as overwhelming - sometimes more so as the weariness of time take their toll. That's why I think peer support such as this site is such a gift.

Appreciated yr advice and have
1. Chosen Psychologist to make appt wit who specialises in ACT / mindfulness etc
2. Chosen a gym to give serious commitment to exercise.
Intend to make these appts Monday. Both are within 5 mins from home so less excuse that it's too difficult to contemplate getting there. I will commit to this for 6 weeks and then review if meds are necessary. Feel somewhat more positive but still lots of negative self talk, doubts, anxiety etc. Decided to put my plan 'out there' in the hope I'll be motivated to follow thru. 😕