Did it again and feel stupid

I could have read for hours @Appleblossom but both the boys home today. Might pick it all back up later tonight.

@ArraDreaming

What I have figured out is that is there is no NORMAL for the kind of experiences we have in "out of home care". Your experience and your needs and your way of dealing with it all, will be unique. No one right way.

Recently I put together a set of photos to tell my father's story in a way I never had before. He had been dreadfully pathologised, but he was also brave, intelligent and a hard worker. Now when something from the past comes out of me, it is more filled out and more respectful of the full experiences. Then I may not think about it or talk about it for a while, and be more present and able to socialise.

Thanks @Appleblossom it definitely is good to connect with someone who’s been there to. some of this info is helpful because I don’t remember a lot, trauma response hey!? To block it all out. There are things I completely forgot even happened until this has kind of triggered a memory in me

I needed to learn to play @ArraDreaming Kids are great at teaching that.

I forgot a lot of details too, but now have a few anchors, that help me navigate life better. Silly things like seeing the shopping centre my foster mother went to .. in the news ...

Me too @Appleblossom I never played but now I get to do it all as adult and that’s pretty special…

My 4 year old is teaching me to play every day, no objective, just play. Half the time I have no idea what’s he’s talking about but I just do what he tells me haha

What an incredible bond @ArraDreaming . Happy NAIDOC week 🙂

Hi @Appleblossom !

@tymei am very fortunate, although most of the time the games make no sense and I get told off that I am not doing what he asked me, today he wanted to play Bluey but I had to play it in Chinese, I told him I don’t speak Chinese and he told me to go to bed for some quiet time mr grumpy. So, that’s what I mean by play in this house haha

This makes fatherhood all the more special @ArraDreaming ! That's so precious - playing Bluey in Chinese lol. That's just too funny. I'm sitting here laughing my head off.

As adults, we just go with these games. And what they say is priceless.

I was playing with my nephew the other day, and I had to give him some eye drops. He frowned at me and said, "I didn't come here for eye drops! I came here to play!" - what could I say? I just laughed. EVENTUALLY.... i got the eye drops in.

kids hey @tyme the baby was crying today and he said “that’s your job ok?? not mine my job is going to kinder” I never once said it was his job, I was like woah calm down mate, did I just get told off by a 4 year old?

They are beautiful stories that will become memories with your boy @ArraDreaming

I also did the Child Centred approach, which has a lot of benefits and positive aspects. Do not want to be too sentimental and Hearing you about an issue with balance. I also was so good at compliance that I complied with my little children, but when adult authority was necessary it was not possible to be heard.

My son is also struggling with it with my grandson. He (grandson) has been raised with too much control and while it is very cute for us all to submit to being told which way to go by a 3 year old when we meet in the park, it is not really the best for all parties in the long run.... which is why I really love the role of RESPECT and indigenous concept of ELDER.

Tbh I think society as a whole is a little out of whack as even though kids are wonderful and great and all that, but probably not best steering the ship ... and before someone jumps in with a cute photo of a kid steering a ship ... that only can happen if the child has been taught properly and listened. So parenting is more than play ... but all that play you have done with your boy should be good investment when you are trying to get a little legit authority in the relationship.