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Hi. My brother is getting acutely unwell. Currently at home on bail. 32 yrs old living with my parents, I live next door with husband and 2 young girls. Brother is not sleeping, paranoid, dilusional, manic, agitated,no respect or care, turning my parents home upside down, painting walls,setting up traps, making a fire pit ect. Paranoid someone or something is going to break in. Thinks my parents are setting him up and tricking him. They forgot to lock the door the other night and when he finallly got some sleep and woke up in a panic yelling and swearing at my parents at 3am telling them off for not locking the door. Accused them of taking his lighter and switching his pockets. What do we do.???how do we talk to him. ? I'm worried when my parents are asleep. I'm starting to hate his behaviour. So desperate right now.????
Hi @Hopeless. I really feel it for you, you appear to be fighting an uphill battle. If possible I would contact the psych who is treating him while he is in the MHU. ward. Ask to see the psych in person, let him/her know your brothers past problems with drug abuse. Ask if the psych could get your brother transferred to a city MHU. Be as honest as you can with telling the psych about your brother escaping from ED. Also tell the psych about your brothers impending courtcase, the break and enter/possession/resisting arrest etc. Tell the psych he is delusional due largely to continued drug use. The more info you can give the psych, the better the chance of proper treatment. Sometimes, unfortunately, we have to be cruel to be kind. Often this can mean (to the patient) betraying them so they can get help. I would also be inclined to check up on the phone, but perhaps if you distance yourself for a while, it might be beneficial. If your brother believes he has been 'deserted' by his family, he may be more willing to co-operate in order to reconcile with you. .
In response to: Re: Help!
HopelessSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Hello again and thankyou again.
My brother has been admitted into the high dependency ward. My mother was contacted by the Psychiatrist today and we will meet with her next monday.
Heartbreaking time and i still havnt cried. I know he is in the right place and needs the help so i hope he remains there for quite some time. I just keep picturing him in there, confused and all alone and not sure what went on. I also worry that he now has to detox all over again but this time, he isnt in the comfort of the home with our support around him.
😞
In response to: Re: Help!
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Hi @Hopeless. I realize what you're feeling, but your brother is in the right place. Instead of focussing on what you think is happening i.e, focus on the fact that while he is in hospital, he will be constantly monitored. If he is confused, he will be helped. If he was home, at the moment, he is beyond your help. He needs professional care, which you are unable to provide. Because of the drug use, withdrawing could mean severe psychosis which the hospital knows how to deal with. He will get professional support, your support, unfortunately is based on emotional which at the moment will do more harm. I'm sorry if my words hurt, but your brother is very sick and the hospital knows how to deal with his illness. They will help him recover and eventually, hopefully, he will return home and be the loving brother you know him to be. Perhaps you suffer slightly with 'delayed reaction', also you're possibly emotionally wrung out. Detoxing can mean hallucinations which can be scary for the patient. Try not to focus on how he is now, focus on the future.
In response to: Help!
HopelessSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Hello. Your words are not hurtful.theyare appreciated. Ok that has given me a lot more peice of mind about what he may go through and the professionals being on hand to deal with whatever arises. So thankyou. You are very right. 🙂
In response to: Re: Help!
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Dear @Hopeless. I'm so pleased I have been able to put your mind at ease. It's important for your peace of mind to relax and know he is safe. Keep in touch with the hospital, by all means, but give it a while before You contact. If they have your contact details, they will advise when you can visit Take care of yourself and your parents.
In response to: Re: Help!
HopelessSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
I need to update you again. My mum just got a call from the hospital saying my brother was on the line. She was hesitant to take the call, however she did. My brother was verbally abusive, swearing, belittling and disrespecting her telling her that seen as though she is in charge of everything, he needed her to sort something out with centerlink. He then told her to get him out of there (but every second word was a swear word). My mum should have hung up on him however she did not. She said she called back to speak to the nurse who said my brother is being very quiet, relaxed and keeping to himself. He is also taking the medication. My mum told them about the conversation and there response was that is different to his behaviour in there. My mum told them that he is playing games and he will do anything to sneak out. We are so scared because like i said, we have no faith in the MH system here. Any advice?
In response to: Re: Help!
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Hi @Hopeless. I'm so sorry I'm just now answering your post. I have been tied up with a personal problem, but free now. Your brother is lashing out because he knows your mum will always listen. He is playing a 'cat and mouse' game with the hospital and your mum. Your mum needs to contact direct the Dr treating him, or even his own Dr and let them know what's happening. Do you have an answer phone machine? Leave it on, so that next time your brother calls, the machine will record everything. Once the call ends, Write down word for word everything he says. I'd also go so far as to say he is scared. Tell his Dr about your real fear of him attempting to break out. The more the Dr is aware, the more he/she can assist. Try to get past the feeling that you're betraying him. To betray him would mean to help him leave the hospital. Have they started him on any sort of program to change/adjust his medication? Try to resist going to visit him. He is behaving a bit like a prisoner who is trying to 'con' those around him into believing everything is fine. Unfortunately, the hospital staff won't monitor his calls unless they're instructed to. Ask the Dr if this could be possible. Hang in there, eventually your brother will trip himself up and he will be treated and helped. It's almost like when we try to get someone who has Dementia assessed. It can take time, but sooner or later they get 'caught' then they can be helped.
In response to: Re: Help!
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
@Hopeless. Once you've written down what your brother has said. Take this to the Dr and ask him to 'act' accordingly. Explain your mum rang the nurse back and she said your brother was quiet, responsive, behaving. Tell the Dr the nurse also reported your brother had taken his medication, but see if he can be checked in case he hasn't. Often people pretend to medicate, then as soon as the nurse goes, they spit the med out. Try to arrange for closer monitoring. I'm really sorry you are having these problems. Having to be one jump ahead can be tiring, but necessary.
In response to: Help!
HopelessSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
Thanks pip. We see the psychiatrist tomorrow. Not sure what this means but are scared they will suggest he is ok to go home. My approach is to say we r not ready and need professional support for the transition, this will take time. He has been calling my mum daily. He is very mad at my husband and my dad. I think this is unfair that he feels this way and still expects to find home. My mu admittantky said today that she does not think he is psychotic!!!!! This was a shock but also not surprising.he is still controlling her even from the inside!!!!
In response to: Help!
HopelessSenior Contributor
Re: Help!
I think my mother will be our undoing in getting him the help he needs. Advice!? Help?!
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