I can’t cope

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@Captain24 wrote:

Yeah I hurt my neck and back but it’s all good. It doesn’t matter. I really don’t care about much.

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Of course it matters @Captain24 . It sounds like your day yesterday took a slide downwards? 😢

It did @NatureLover. I didn’t have a nurse check on me either. One of the girls spoke to a nurse as she was finishing for the night. She said that maybe they would get a psych to see me. I have a Pdoc appointment at some stage today though. That’s going to be interesting.

How are you today? Are you going to work?

Hi @Captain24

I hope the appt. with the pdoc goes well for you. Have you ever met them before?

Yeah @Snowie I see my Pdoc every Monday and Friday. Nothing has been said about the psychologist yet though. I haven’t met one while I’ve been in here.

How is it going being at home?

I'm glad you see the pdoc regularly @Captain24 I did see a pdoc but it wasn't my regular one.

I didn't see a psychologist whilst I was in hospital.

I did miss that interaction with my psych however. I see her tomorrow which will be good.

It is good being home. So nice to wake up with hubby and the kids right there. Just trying to get back into a 'normal' routine. Have already cleaned some of the house, should get the rest done in the next few days.

This Pdoc is really good not as good as mine though. @Snowie.

She brought up the fact that when I go home I will slip back into my old ways and I need to learn to better cope with them. She is right though. It just makes me feel that this is a waste of time.

Our groups were on values, recovery and hope. That was hard as I don’t see any hope or recovery today. I feel lost and don’t know who I am. I’ve had such a roller coaster of emotions since I have been here. Some days it’s just too hard and others it’s the best thing for me.

Sorry I’m just being a downer today. I need to get over myself.

I tried really hard not to compare the pdoc I had in there to my regular pdoc, but it is hard not to.

I can understand the worry to just fall back into the old routine @Captain24 It is a worry that I have too now that I am home. I guess all we can do is take one day at a time.

No doubt you will have good and bad days, days where it is the best thing for you and other days where you just want to leave. I think that is totally normal to have. It shows just how much strength and courage you have just to continue each day.

Today is a day that I want to leave @Snowie I know I can’t and I shouldn’t but the stuff my Pdoc said has hit home. She was really honest with me though and I appreciate that. I may have changed but my mum won’t have. I have to instil boundaries.

There was a big incident this morning. I came in on the end of it and one of the girls was visibly upset the other one was ranting something incomprehensible was it was walking away. I just went to the girl and hugged her. So I had the num come in and see me. She is lovely but I didn’t have much to tell her. She checked in and asked if I was ok after the incident. I probably should have talked to her but she was busy investigating.

I have just put my ‘I need time out’ card out in the hope that no one comes and checks on me.

I hope your psych appointment goes well. I’ve booked my psych and my dietitian. I have to ring on Friday and get a GP appointment. It’s all starting to feel real.

I will hold your hand through settling back in, as much as I can. Being in here I get it so much more now.

I'm just dropping by to say I think you're doing amazing @Captain24 Well done and keep up the good work...one step at a time.

Good morning @Captain24 ...I'm sorry to read yesterday you felt no hope and it was a downer of a day 😢

I hope today you feel a spark of hope and excitement about the progress you are making...

I agree about the boundaries needed with your mother. Boundaries are hard. I didn't break away from my abusive father till age 47, when I finally stood up to him. Best thing I ever did. He estranged me, which I knew he would, but now we are back in contact occasionally. The separation allowed me some healing, and to get strong. Now I won't allow any of his constant criticism.

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@Captain24 wrote:

How are you today? Are you going to work?

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Yes, I worked yesterday thanks. The temperature has dropped today which is good.