I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 can you just jump in your car and go. Get yourself out of that toxic environment for some reprieve. Get to the beach. And if your parents have an issue with it they will just have to get over it, which they will. Do this for your own mental health.

That sounds tough today @Captain24 . How much longer are you away for? Did you end up going yourself?

Hey @Bow @NatureLover @Acanthiza !

I did leave @Bow.

I jumped in the car and got an ice cream and sat at a cliff edge watching the waves crash on the rocks.

Now I’m down at the beach. I went out but the current is too strong for me. The lifeguards are really enforcing the flag rule. Apparently they rescued someone just before I got here.

Anyway. I’m sitting here with the serenity and peacefulness and I have just been crying. The beauty of this place and the space away from everyone and everything, the tears just started. I think it was a release and one that I desperately needed.

Thanks for recognising for me that it’s a toxic environment. It’s helps me to see that it’s as bad as I think. I know I keep whinging but I really need to get it out or it won’t end well.

I really appreciate your support especially when things are so tough for you right now. How are you holding up? Is D starting to get better?

Hey @tyme

I just responded to @Bow.

Im at the beach. I couldn’t do the camel thing as by the time they decided I couldn’t do it, it was too late for me to get there. It’s 30 mins away and shut at 3:30. Im just going to take myself tomorrow whether they like it or not. I’m an adult I can do what I want. I don’t need to answer to them.

We go back home on Monday.

We did do a lot of walking today around headlands and up on rock faces so the scenery was really good. I will miss all of that when I go home. Plus it’s just starting to get warm. It’s an awesome 37 degrees right now and rising.

I’ll watch my annual leave at work or maybe during a break off I will come back on my own with the dogs. It’ll be cold and I won’t be able to swim but it’ll be a break.

There’s this walk I want to do, it’s a few kms [edited by moderator] and not sure where it comes out. But I can’t do it on my own as I need to be picked up as I have no way of getting back to my car. I think it would be stunning. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do it.

I’m glad to read that you left @Captain24 and the time you’ve had out sounds so peaceful and relaxing. Daughter said to me a couple of days ago that she really wants t go to the beach..,, we haven’t actually been this summer and summer is just about over. It’s about a 40min drive from us. So maybe one day soon! I’m not a massive fan of beach days. I mean I love the beach. It’s so peaceful and it’s my safe image. I just hate the effort it takes to go and then the mess we bring home!

I hope it was ok to say that it’s a toxic environment. But what you have been describing lately of your relationship with you folks and what happens, it really doesn’t sound like a positive place and really doesn’t sound like it’s good for your mental health.

im doing not so ok. Struggling a fair bit. But my friend came over today and sat with my D while I went to my gp appointment. My gp was really happy with my process. My bloods have improved a little bit. And we have gone for another appointment in a fortnight instead of a week! Unless my intake changes in between. My support worker came with me and it was nice to sit and have adult conversation while we waited.
I then went home and had more adult conversation with my friend. Which was nice too.

my D I think is on the up. No fever overnight, bit of a temp this morning and none again yet this afternoon. I got her a different cough medicine today, so hopefully…. Fingers crossed… I can dose her up on meds tomorrow if necessary and we can get to the ballet!!

Hey @Captain24 , the beach sounds soo soo serene. If you could only sit there all day. I used to do that for a whole day and just watch the water...

How much longer are you there for. When are you leaving on Mon?

@Bow , I'm so glad you had a bit of respite to talk to adults! How long is your mum away for? Also, I'm so glad your D is on the mend. It's so scary watching a child so unwell. And yes, hope she's all ready for the ballet! Does she do ballet?

@tyme My mum is back next Sunday. So another week and a bit. Hopefully daughter is back to school next week and feeling better and we can enjoy ourselves a little more…. And I can get out and to my groups and stuff. I actually have a busy week with appointments.
D doesn’t do ballet. But she is excited about going tomorrow. It’s the Alice in wonderland ballet! My mum made her an Alice dress to wear. And we will of course make a visit to the Lego store! 😃

Nice! If you ever go to Melb, you MUST go to Legoland @Bow . It's absolutely wow! I went to the lego store a few weeks ago. It's pretty cool, but Legoland is cool-er!!

Ooo! Alive in Wonderland Ballet sounds awesome!

No @Bow.… I appreciate you saying it. It gives me some validation and makes me realise where my MI came from. This is how I grew up.

I’m glad you got some adult conversation. Just being able to have a conversation I’m hoping was helpful for you.

Im glad D is feeling better and you get to go to the ballet. I’ve only ever been to one and their strength and talent was amazing.

Monday morning @tyme. I might see if they will leave and I follow later. I’d like to take the dogs to our favourite beach on the way out. But they will have to come too. There is no escape.

Part of me is looking forward to the admission as I get a break from them. There is a beach 15min walk away. We have to do yoga and walk through the forest behind the clinic as part of our therapy. So there will be a lot of mindfulness.