I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24 , I hope you made it through the night OK... Gosh your mother sounds nasty. And the fighting, oh gosh. How can they think someone else (you) would want to go on holiday with them and be around that?!

Well done for bringing up to your mother the 'nut house' comments.

I hear you that your emotional pain is almost unbearable 😢

I hope you can get more peaceful moments at the beach. When does your holiday finish?

Really hope you are coping despite not being OK...

---

@Jynx wrote:

Just counting down the hours @NatureLover she's supposed to come at 5pm! Buuut since I haven't heard anything from her today I'm almost expecting her not to show, it's happened before 😑

Sorry to hear that you're struggling hun, sending some biiiiig hugs 🫂

---

Thanks for the hugs @Jynx 🙂

How did your inspection go?

Morning @NatureLover

When we go away they are usually not this bad. I don’t know whether they are going to despise each other more or whether it’s that I don’t have the mental capacity to take it.

It’s suppose to rain all day but at the moment it’s sunny so I hope it stays that way so I can go.

How are you going?

I hope the rain holds off so you can go to the beach 🤞 @Captain24

I've been struggling, but I have my monthly psychologist appt today.

I’m sorry you are struggling @NatureLover

I hope your appointment goes well for you and you get out of it what you need.

Have you been going to your volunteer job?

Thanks for remembering, @Captain24 ...no, I haven't been up to my volunteer job shifts this week. Going to psych up to hopefully go back on Monday.

Are you nervous about your upcoming hospital admission?

That’s not good @NatureLover. That shows me how much you are struggling. I hope it will ease for you soon.

Im terrified!! Not knowing what to expect, all the Pdoc appointments. A complete bunch of strangers, the yoga and the bush walks that they go on. What are they going to do about my ED? Are they going to watch me eat? Group therapy, I don’t talk in a group it scares me. The afternoon activities, I’m not good at anything like that, will I be comfortable to participate?

Yeah.. I’m a little worried .. 😜

Oh gosh you are worried, @Captain24 !! You're being very brave!

Your ED is a complicating factor too.

Yes, I'm trying to avoid any meds increases, so I really need to go in to work on Monday. Thanks.

I hope you can get there on Monday and not need increases. @NatureLover

I know how hard med changes are. Oh yeah.. that’s another thing I’m scared about. But what if it helps you and can lift you out of this? Or is there something short term prn or something.

Today is hard, so hard.

All I want to do, other than go to the beach, is go on a 20min camel ride. But all I’ve done is have to hang around with them.

They can’t make a decision, they don’t think of others. They don’t even think of each other.

Maybe I’m the selfish inconsiderate one. Maybe I need to learn my place and know that my father is the one in charge.

I know all I do is whinge about my holiday and my family. I’m a horrible person who doesn’t appreciate what’s happening.

I hate myself for it. I hate so much right now. I have the need to hurt myself. The pressure is just building and it’s getting harder.

I am safe because I am stuck with them.