I can’t cope

Oh @Captain24 ,

I'm so sorry to hear all this! It sounds like no one is really coping, but there's a difference between not coping and reaching out, or not coping and denying it....

It sounds like your parents have so little understanding of what's going on for you, and perhaps that's why they are reacting the way they are.

Are you okay? I know fights from parents can be triggering at any age.

Wow @Captain24 ! Those photos are surreal!

Hey @Acanthiza. I’m trying to find good moments. I hope you are ok? Feel free to say whatever you need. You’ve had to listen to my shit! I am here for you too.

It was a pretty amazing sunset. @tyme The photos don’t do it justice.

No.. I’m not ok.

Life comes and goes @Acanthiza 🙂

I just take each day with a smile even if it doesn't feel that way.

I'm glad to see you all on tonight.

Would you consider going on holidays by yourself in the future? @Captain24

I'll send you an email.

I'm about to log off @Captain24 but thank you for sharing those photos! Soooo pretty!!

And please remember that needing help is as naturally part of being human as breathing. We're supposed to lean on others. You're not a failure for needing support.

Chat tomorrow hun, hope you have a lovely morning until then 💜

Thanks for this afternoon @Jynx. I hope your inspection goes well.

I was planning on it for my birthday in May but I’m using all my annual leave for this admission. @tyme.

We do Feb and November as a family as mum says it’s so we all get together. My brother doesn’t even know we are here. she hasn’t told him. I only have enough hours for the November one and I just can’t pull out of it. The last holiday wasn’t as stressful, actually none have been this stressful. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it’s because I’m not and haven’t been in a good place.

When I went away last year on my own I got guilt tripped as she said to Angel ‘we’re not welcome’ I know it was to a dog but it was aimed at me.

Hrmmmm.... surprise them with a trip of their own while you go away lol @Captain24

No need to turn it to yourself. As you said, your bro has no idea... so obviously it's not a 'family' getaway.

You are too kind.

I am fine @Captain24 , I feel silly complaining with how your mum is acting. But I had a bit of an issue with my mum as well. I told you I was going to a bipolar support group, I can't remember if I said how it went? It was very good, everyone was so understanding. They gave me a little booklet to take home which was meant to give a bit of a better understanding for your family. My mum skimmed through it and just said it was "what you would expect", focusing just on general advice for dealing with bipolar.

I don't know, I am probably too sensitive but she has no interest in understanding what I have gone through and this just made it really clear. She never read anything about anxiety, or depression, or now bipolar. She says she cares and will do anything for family but they are really just words. If I try to talk about what I have gone through she turns it back on me and guilt trips saying "I was the worst mother then" and gets very angry.

Ahhh I wound up writing a lot, you shouldn't give me permission.

@tyme it sounds like maybe things aren't the best for you? I'm sure you are but I hope you are letting yourself feel and process the bad along with the good.