I can’t cope

Hey RiverSeal.

Im just lying in bed at the moment. I really need to be getting things ready for work tomorrow. I don’t want to go but I have to. I just need to focus on the fact that I only have 3 shifts left until Good Friday.

Oh there’s lots of things running around in my mind.

I have been a really big problem for everyone on here for all the peer workers. Also certain members who I think, think that I’m taking time away from them.

Im just not feeling sure I belong. I don’t want to hurt or upset anybody any further than I already have.

I did consider leaving.

Yeah, I heard @Captain24 and I am really glad that you stayed on the Forums, and as part of this community. I can see that you find it challenging at times, you are a valued and respected part of this community. We are here to support you when you need it and if that means a little extra at times, then that is ok too. We are here for everyone and it's lovely that you are concerned that others need support, but you don't take up time for other members. It's all good and everyone gets the support they need including you.

Can you plan to get things ready for work after you feel rested and have been in bed for a while?

RiverSeal

Hey RiverSeal.

I am finding it challenging to be here in life and on the forums. I don’t want me being an elevated risk to take away from others. I don’t want to be that selfish, self-centred person I’m becoming.

I’ve been in bed most of the day. I gave the dogs a bone each so I didn’t feel too guilty.

I just really have to duck to the supermarket for a couple of drinks or I could just grab them from the servo on my way out in the morning. I have stuff here that I can pack for lunch.

I really should tidy the house and bath the dogs. But I guess in the scheme of things it doesn’t really have to be done.

So long story short.. I just can’t face up to life right now

Life will still be there tomorrow @Captain24 and maybe you just need to do things when you are ready. Glad to know the dogs are happy!! How do you feel about connecting with other Members on the Forums today? RiverSeal

I know I need to let up on myself a little. @RiverSeal. I just see myself as a continuing failure.

Ive only made a couple of connections on here but I'm hoping they a busy and happy with visitors today.

This is where my sense of belonging is hard. I don’t really belong anywhere.

Have you thought about making connections in real life @Captain24? There are lots of opportunities to do things with others in the community if you would like to. I volunteered to get connection with people before I started working as I had nobody in my life and was very isolated. Also, Meetup was good for my socialising as I could turn up to meetings and spend time with people and did have to tell them everything about myself. RiverSeal

It’s funny you should say that @RiverSeal. My Pdoc asked who I had other than my supports. I have one friend in town and 1 in Melbourne and 1 in Newcastle. She said that she had no advice on how to make more connections as, as an adult it’s hard. She gets it as she lives out here too.

There is very little volunteer unless it’s at the nursing home and there aren’t many good memories for me there. There aren’t any social groups. This is what living in a small country town is like. I don’t mean to shoot you down. The closest large town is an hour and a half away.

Maybe I might have more confidence when I get out of hospital.

Even if I have to travel 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours to meet someone.

Just to give an idea as to how isolated we are. The hospital for my admission is just over 4 hrs away.

Yeah, that's a long way @Captain24 and your town must be pretty isolated. It could be worth the travel to make connections if you get an opportunity. See how you go like you say after your hospital admission. RiverSeal

I’m hoping it changes things but it doesn’t change the isolation that I live in.

This is why people give up on me as they think I’m not trying. But don’t get the isolation of where I live.

My Pdoc lives in a town smaller than mine. That’s why she understands.

But maybe I’ll come back better and discover the truth, that I’m not really much of a person and not worth it.