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Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before. I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent. there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.
@Captain24 I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing an intense and prolonged episode. It must be incredibly challenging. Sitting with you 💛
When you have had similar experiences before, was there something you found helpful during those times? I understand this one is particularly bad, but maybe some of those coping strategies can be beneficial?
In response to: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I started going downhill middle of last year and it hasn’t stopped. @creative_writer. The last 6 + weeks have been the absolute worst of my life. Nothing even comes a close second. I’m not even sure I will make it through, I’m not even sure I want to.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I have tried it all @lavenderhaze. I’m all out of strategies. I keep going back to things but nothing is easing it. It’s getting really bad.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
@Captain24, bipolar can be very tricky. Trying to figure out the right meds is hard, it took me years, and then things got bad again and were bad for a while till the right adjustment was made. Even with that adjustment I still get bouts where I feel terrible. I’ve learnt to recognise my triggers, like sleep deprivation is trigger for manic episodes. If those manic episodes happen alongside depression it is madness. What I am saying is that it is possible to find the right med combination and over time you can learn to identify triggers. I know in the darkest moments everything feels worthless and it’s hard to see the light. I know it’s exhausting to fight it time and time again. You have no idea how much you are worth, you are so precious to us on the forums. We will sit with you and hold your hand while you battle with bipolar. We think you are worth every bit 💖🫂
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
lavenderhazeSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I can imagine how tough that must have been for you @Captain24, but you're still going! 🙂
Don't mean to sound positive pamela here but that takes strength and courage ❤️ I admire that and I hope you're also able to look at yourself and say it tonight
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
I have just read a post on another thread and it sums up how I feel perfectly. It was like I had written it. I understand where they are sitting now. But it’s exactly what I’m feeling, where I’m sitting and what’s going through my head. The realisation actually makes me feel sick.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
@Captain24💖🫂. Lots of hugs coming your way
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
lavenderhazeSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Did reading someone else's experience help you feel less alone in yours, @Captain24? ❤️
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
Captain24Senior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Ummm yes @lavenderhaze but not in a good way. I really feel for them.
In response to: Re: I can’t cope
lavenderhazeSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t cope
Yeah, I get that @Captain24! Life can sometimes be so hard but knowing that you are not alone and have a community around you to sit with you in your pain can make it a little less hard 💜
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