I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24 , concerned after your last few posts...

Did you manage to sleep in the end? Or did you get up?

Insomnia really sucks, I can't cope with it myself 🫂

Good luck with your CM appt today, and with your bloods if you decide to do them...

Good morning @NatureLover

How are you? Did you get to your volunteer job or did you go back to bed?

I don’t remember writing that last post. It’s very chaotic and all over the place. It scares me a little.

I crashed pretty hard last night. I tried to keep hiding it but I just couldn’t.

I messed up my appointment with my CM it’s actually tomorrow.

Jett has puppy preschool tonight so that should be fun. I’m hoping his excitement spreads to me and I can mask for an hour.

Hi @Captain24 , thanks for asking...I went back to bed, then got up and went to work late, then left early.

It sounds like you managed to get to sleep last night eventually?

I hope you enjoy the puppy preschool tonight 🙂

At least you did what worked for you @NatureLover. A little more rest and a little work.

I don't know when I went to sleep. I was in and out. The last time I looked at the clock was 3:20 but then I didn’t wake up until just after 9. I need to work out how to fix this so it doesn’t keep happening.

I hope you are ok and have a better day.

I think I’ve used all my spoons and it’s not lunchtime yet.

I have finished off as much of the lawns as I can. The bins are chockers. Plus I’ve taken down all the Christmas lights, had a shower, washed my hair and done 2 loads of washing.

I need to change my bed linen and bath 2 dogs this afternoon. I am exhausted.

I am proud that the big things I wanted to get done are done. But at what cost. I was feeling sorta okish this morning. However now I’m on a rapid downward spiral.

I am so sick of being so unwell. I can’t keep going on like this.

Im so sorry I know you are all so sick of hearing this. I’m sick of it. All I do is whinge. Why can’t I see what other people see in me.

Well done on getting so much done @Captain24

I find it hard to see the good in me that other people see. I think that is a normal reaction to have.

Thanks @Snowie. I have done a lot. The dogs and my bed linen have to be done as well though. I guess I need to find it within from somewhere.

Maybe if we could find a little bit of good in ourselves then it might be the start of heading forward.

We are so much critical of ourselves @Captain24

You have achieved so much today, you should be proud of that.

My psych said something awhile ago when I told her I was journaling. She said to try and write one good thing about myself every time I journal. Sometimes I can do it, other days not so much.

Perhaps those positive affirmations is something you could try.

You can even try and stick them around your room or in a notebook.

We are so critical @Snowie.

I’ve now just bathed the two dogs as well. So Jett is ready for puppy preschool now.

I was journaling up until about May last year when everything started to head south. My CM keeps telling me I need to. I should start again. It also helps keep track of what’s been happening when I see the Pdoc. Such as days and what was happening. She likes a timeline. Especially when I haven’t seen her for months.

I can try the affirmations, however I’m one to read it and forget a couple of minutes later. I then look past things if they are around all the time. If I’m focused on something I am blinded to everything else. Focus is a big issue with me. I am however willing to give anything a go.

My bestie thinks I have ADHD. She has it and says I have so many signs. I just laugh at her and tell her I have enough labels.

We certainly do have enough labels @Captain24!

You need to do what is right for you. What works for one person might not work for the other. I have found journaling helpful but there are times I can go weeks without writing anything. It is something that I need to try and do more often.

My psych likes me to keep a time line too. She likes to see what I am doing during the day. I also find it pressure to make sure that I am doing things. If I had my choice I would just stay in bed all day!