I can’t cope

I need to sleep. I need the nothingness involved with sleeping. I need to not think, to not feel, to not have the hatred to myself.

Not being able to sleep is causing anxiety. The last thing I need in my life right now is an anxiety attack.

I need it all to stop. I need everything to stop. I can’t face it all anymore

Hi @Captain24 ,

Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard night tonight.

Sleep is so important, and struggling to sleep can make hard times even worse. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

Are there any helpful strategies you've used in the past to fall asleep? Or maybe you have a sleep routine?

Could you also confirm that you're safe this evening? I'm feeling a bit concerned about your wellbeing.

If you're feeling concerned about your safety it may be worthwhile contacting a helpline, such as Lifeline (131114).

I hope things get easier for you soon.

- PrincessLettuce

Hi @PrincessLettuce

Not being able to sleep makes everything harder. My CM said it’s dangerous to not sleep with bipolar.

I have a sleep routine and I have followed it. It’s still not helping. It’s my own fault though.

Yes, I am safe I am past the point of acting on thoughts. I have no motivation to do it, which sounds odd, I know.

Thanks for your support in this.

Hi @Captain24 , glad you're safe 👍

Hope your CM being back on Monday helps.

@Captain24 💗💗

I just had a massive achievement. I have been out the front after not being able to. I haven’t even been able to open the front door.

All I want to do is be in bed so I don’t have to face anything but I have also weeded one garden bed. I just can’t face doing the others or mowing but I guess it’s something.

Plus I’m not beating myself up for not doing the others. I know I just can’t do it and don’t have the mental capacity to be hard on myself.

One step at a time @Captain24 . Congratulations on your achievement. It's certainly something to celebrate, especially since things have been so tough for you.

We're here for you.

My gardener contacted me to let me know that they are no longer servicing my area.... sad story.. now I have to look for another gardener...

You beat me! I haven't done gardening in over a year!

What else have you go planned today? It's so hot and yuk in Syd. The kids have gone to my cousin's house because they have a pool. It's also a chance for all the second cousins to get together because they are all around the same age. I'm sad I can't see the second cousins, but then again, I don't want to get out in the heat. I'd rather be with you all 🙂

Oh no … your gardener sounded awesome. @tyme.

I need to finish the garden beds now the front lawn at least. Have a shower and wash my hair. Bath 2 dogs and change my sheets and doona cover.

But I’m trying not to focus on the list. All I can do is take minute by minute. That’s all I have in me and all that I can face. Looking and further than that doesn’t end well. I need to look after myself first. I know, that’s a shock!

😳 But if I’m going to get through this I have to try.

Not enjoying Sydney weather!

It’s only 32 degrees here so it’s only warm here.

It’s a shame you are missing out but I’m hoping there will be another time before you go home. See the positive though. You get to be with us but you have alone time!!

You've made me smile @Captain24 . So so proud of you. Well done on every single little achievement you have made today. It's more than what I've done for sure! Yes! Look after yourself!

The Syd weather really weighs me down. I don't know I how I lived here for most of my life... I don't think I'd EVERY return to living in Syd even though we have an awesome house with the beach at the end of the street and the bush behind us. We wake up to kookaburras each morning, the big blue tongues come to greet us, owls are in the backyard.... it's lovely, but I still wouldn't return lol.

My parents are making everything super comfy.

I'm so glad the kids are out of the way. I had an argument with my niece today so later she came to me and said, "Mum told me to say sorry". I said, "Well, that's from your mum, not you". She's out now, but she'll be back later so we can have a chat about it.

I don't feel I'm missing out not being with them all because I need a break from everyone lol. I told them I might drive there later this arvo, but I doubt I will. I might see them all another day.

How often do you bathe Jett and Pix? Has Jett settled now?

having a Monsoon up here now @tyme , @Captain24 , still very hot though with all the rain