I can’t cope

The appt sounds great @Captain24 ! I'm so glad the pdoc was easy to talk to. In my experience, I've found psychiatrists very different to psychologists in their 'bedside manner'. Sounds like you've got a rare find even if it IS Telehealth!

And don't worry, I'm in Melb city and I ALSO use Telehealth. It's not just a rural thing.

I'm so excited for you having your visitors tonight. It's great 🙂

 Help yourself @tyme !

Yummoo @Captain24 ! I'm digging into the potato salad and the meat now! The taste is divine! I'm usually not even a meat eater (hate the chewing), but I haven't eaten meat in yonks, so I think my body wants it!

The potato salad is scrumptious!

Thank you!

Sorry, I think I ate before the guests!

Glad you enjoyed it @tyme .

They have all gone home now.

I'm here if you want to talk about how tonight went @Captain24 - absolutely okay if you don't feel up to it. I know it's been a HUGE day for you.

I’m really unsure of how I’m feeling @tyme .

Im a bit low, a bit agitated and a bit overwhelmed. It’s been a huge day. I said I’d go back to work next Friday and the psych seemed to want me to take more time off. I get the medication and it says don’t drive heavy machinery. I think my job falls under that category 🤣

The changing of meds is concerning me too. Are my moods going to be all over the place? Are the lows going to be really low or the highs really high.

Bbq was pretty good. I was left to do it all even though I have trouble standing up with my back. But at least mum got to spend time with her brother.

Sorry for the ramble but I really am all over the place

Hugs @Captain24 .

You have every right to feel the way you do.

Not knowing is one of the hardest things to sit with. Sometimes it turns out worse, but other times it turns out better. We don't know what the future holds. Hence, let tonight be tonight. Let tomorrow be tomorrow.

As for driving heavy machinery? Yes, it does sound like your job falls under that category. So do my meds. Hence I take them only in the evenings. But once again, this might not work if you are working night shift. Did you remind the psychiatrist about this?

Otherwise, are you able to liaise with your boss so that you have regular shifts, either all morning or all evening blocks? Since they know about what you are going through, perhaps this is an option as part of supporting you in your workplace? I guess you won't know unless you ask.

Why I say this is because if you are not well, you will not be able to work. If the meds give you some sort of stability, perhaps speaking to your bosses might help.

But for tonight, please rest up. You've had a big day. We can talk more about it tomorrow evening.

Kindest, tyme

I have woken up still feel a little overwhelmed @tyme

I did sleep really well though and didn’t wake up really early like I have been so that’s good.

The psych did say to take my new meds nightly even when on night shift. She does know what my work involves. By the time I go back I will have come off the previous meds but still be increasing the new ones. So it will just be trial and error. I’ll just have to see how I go. I won’t be on the full dose for 4 weeks.

My immediate boss knows what’s going on but the bosses above him don’t and they won’t allow a roster change. They just see things as if you can’t do it someone else can.

I just don’t feel right today. I feel very alone and isolated. Its one of those days where I’m sure no one would even notice I was gone.