I can’t cope

I’ve gotten out of Sunday night dinner for a while. @tyme I guess it can’t happen for much longer though.

I accidentally hurt Jett. I didn’t mean too. He seems ok though. He didn’t yelp or anything and is running around playing. But I still did it. I hate myself so much for it. The guilt is eating me up.

Dogs are resilient. You said it was an accident.

Yet the thoughts are still so loud. @Captain24

Do you think you can go back and try the grounding technique we practiced yesterday?

I went for a walk with Pix and Jett. @tyme. Plus I did do the grounding a little bit.

I still having a sinking feeling in my stomach but he is ok and that’s what matters.

How are you going?

I'm glad the dog's are okay @Captain24 . Has your mum's dog settled?

I'm glad you have been able to practice some grounding techniques. When my psych first did it with me, I was nearly in tears because I hated it THAT much.

But i know the theory behind it and I know it works. But I think one needs to practice it when they are well so that when they don't feel well, they can still do it.

I'm actually quite tired today. I look to finish up here a bit earlier tonight and go to bed shortly after.

My niece was exhausted last night so I think that's why she wet the bed. She never wets the bed unless there is a huge change or if she is exhausted... and yes.... she wet the bed that WE are sleeping on. But it wasn't much. It just meant she was up last night and so was I.

I haven't even thought about tomorrow yet.

Just to let you know that peer workers will be off tomorrow and the day after (25th & 26th Dec). Moderators are on though. We're also off on 1st Dec. By having these days off, it means we are on all the other days 🙂 So I'll be seeing you on Wed 27th 🙂

What are your plan for tomorrow?

Kieko has settled in well @tyme

It was hard to isolate it but I gave it a go and it did help me. I slept better without miss using meds. Thank you.

Oh no.. that would have been interesting. I can imagine a sheet change in the middle of the night.

I hope you can get some rest tonight. I know you don’t do Christmas but do the kids?

For tomorrow we just go to mass, have a baked lunch and then just cold me and salad for dinner.

Im glad that you guys are around. It does help. I know that you all deserve a break aswell.

The kids don't do Christmas either but they will go to be with their friends since everyone is off @Captain24 . It's more a time to be together. They just don't have the tree, that's all 🙂

The kids here are so spoilt. They are always on the go because my sister never stays still. She's always out of the house.

As for Kieko, I'm glad he is settling. Does he seem happier?

Yeah, sheet changes, talking talking talking and laughing kept us up last night. Then this morning, she opens the blinds wide so she could read. She knew it is or close to the summer solstice so the sun rises earlier. Tonight, she looked out at 8:30pm and said, 'oh yeah! It's the summer solstice! The sun is still up!'

Then she asked me to ask BOM to check the weather....

This kid is all brains...but just so LAZY...

Tomorrow for you sounds like it's fully organised and prepared. I just that will help with the cognitive load a little. I recognise it may be very hard for you tomorrow. Just do your best.

I'll be cheering you on in the background!

Yeah she seems much happier now @tyme

I like that they can spend time as everyone is available.

My cousin once described it as not spoilt just well loved! So that’s what use now.

She sounds very interesting. She sounds very similar to I was. You would find me with my head in a book or doing math and logic puzzles but never much else at home.

Yeah I have everything planed and I’ve done as much prep as I can do. It’s just about following the process. I will be stressing that it’s not good enough though. I do know I will never reach mums expectations but it’s been that way my whole life. I also have high expectations of myself. I think that’s what was drummed into me. I’ll just do what I can.

I hope you can have a chilled couple of days and get some rest. You sound like you need it.

Okay, 'well loved' when they are in my good books and 'spoilt' when they are not! @Captain24 lol

The continuous stream of rain here is so soothing. Sounds lovely. I think I'll go to sleep on it tonight.

As for Christmas tomorrow, expect the work and be pleasantly surprised when it turns out better lol.

Like I said to a boss once, "nah, I have low expectations of people so that when they actually do something, I get a pleasant surprise".... my boss contradicted me of course and said we should be having high expectations of all our employees... oh well. I'm going to go by my standards because I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than be disappointed!

Anyway, I'm hopping offline now. I'll speak to you on Wednesday. Have a safe one and take it easy.

Happy Christmas @Captain24 ...I hope today goes well, and you aren't mega-stressed by having to eat the Christmas lunch food 🤞💙

Merry Christmas dear @Captain24 hoping today goes ok for you. Remember what others think does not matter 💕