I can’t cope

And when it moves, which part of your body does it travel to?

Does it still feel the same in terms of how heavy it is?

Do you feel it in any other part of your body at the same time?

How does the change make you feel?

@Captain24

FYI, I'm really sorry, but I'm off now. When you get those intense feelings, go back to this. It allows you to give some distance between what you are feeling and the yourself. It allows you to be the spectator and take control instead of having it consume to and taking over your body and mind.

So… I’m a little proud of myself. I have managed to fight the thoughts and demons and get my list from yesterday and today done.

Everything that is left to do can only be done tomorrow.

Now that I’ve stopped and I’m exhausted those thoughts are really strong.

I can’t ask for any help @Snowie @NatureLover. For starters I can’t ask for help anyway but all I would hear from mum is how tired she is, how she had to help, how I couldn’t do it, how it’s always expected of her to do it all. I’ll already hear how she had to help with dinner because she cooked the silverside. All she had to do was through it into the slow cooker!

They will just rock up when everything is ready to serve, both at lunch and at dinner time. But in a way that’s probably better as all I would hear is how it is t done the way she likes it or dad likes it. It’s a no win battle.

Sorry I know you are trying to help and I’m being negative but if you had met my mother you would understand.

Well done on getting through your list @Captain24 That is a huge achievement.

My mum is very critical of me too, nothing I do can please her.

As you said, perhaps it is better if they arrive after everything is done. The less time there the better.

Is there something nice you can do to reward yourself for achieving so much today?

I’ve just don’t some Lego I’ve only got one bag to go and this one is finished @Snowie and allowed myself toast for dinner.

It’ll be an early night tonight though. All the urges are there. Plus I was stupid enough to forget presents from the dogs for my parents so I will have to head into town early tomorrow.

How was your day?

I had toast for tea too @Captain24!

I hope you get your lego finished.

My day was ok. Went up the street for a few things. Only have to pick the seafood up tomorrow and then I'm all ready for xmas day.

I hope the shops aren't too busy. Hopefully going early avoids the crowds.

An early night sounds like a good idea. You must be tired too from doing so much today.

Having a really critical mother is so hard @Snowie. I really feel for you.

I was just stupid so I think I’ll go to bed.

I hope you have a good night.

I did well this afternoon. I had the urges but I could contain them

Now that the sun has gone down and I’m exhausted it’s all so hard.

I think I can say I’m safe but I don’t feel it. I’m in bed and it takes too much effort to get out.

Bed sounds good to me @Captain24

That is where I am heading now. Too tired to stay awake.

I hope you get some sleep hon

Thanks for letting us know that you are safe @Captain24 Please reach out for support if you need it tonight. Here is a list of services so you have them close:

• 1800 187 263. Counselling
• Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Lifeline Chat
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or Beyond Blue Webchat
• 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732, www.1800respect.org.au
• Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or Online Counselling
• If in immediate danger: 000 www.triplezero.gov.au/triple-zero/How-to-Call-000

Take care

RiverSeal

I'm sorry to hear your mother is that way @Captain24 😢

Sending hugs...