I can’t cope

Thanks @creative_writer @Snowie @NatureLover

Ive just woken up after 3 hrs. All I seem to do is sleep. I’m struggling to stay out of bed. But it seems to be the only time I don’t think. The thoughts are so strong all the time. Sleeping is my only reprieve.

With so much to do it’s just not good enough.

Im so sorry I just feel like I’m going around in circles in here. It’s been the same shit for weeks and I’m still not sure that I’m safe.

I hope you all can manage an ok day today.

@Captain24 It's ok to check out, to sleep, to need that time for ourselves.

Can your family do some things for xmas day so you don't have to do it all?

Hey @Captain24 ,

I'm sorry that things are still so hard. I hear that your thoughts are saying you are not sure if you are safe.

However, can you confirm whether you are safe for now? You can email us if that's easier.

We just need to make sure you are safe as part of our duty of care towards all members.

I recognise this is a very difficult time and you are just pushing through...

I'm here for you.

I guess so @tyme. It’s a weird scary feeling. I’m not sure how to describe it.

I hear you @Captain24 - and yes, sometimes feelings and emotions are hard to desrcibe.

Would you like to look into the feeling a little more? That is, observe it as an onlooker so that you can put some distance between the feeling and you?

For example, where is this feeling sitting in your body?

How big is this feeling?

What colour is this feeling?

How heavy is this feeling?

What texture does this feeling have?

Notice...notice... notice..... ground yourself by noticing 🙂

Hugs

It’s sitting on my chest @tyme

It’s larger than my chest. It’s like it’s the whole top half of my torso.

Its a really deep black.

It’s crushingly heavy. It’s putting so much pressure that I have chest pain.

It’s like sticky, hot black tar.

Does it have a sound?

Does it move?

Does it change shape?

Does it change colour?

@Captain24

No sound @tyme Its just sitting the quietly

It oozes around my heart like thick slime moves

when it oozes its changes shape. It’s like a big slosh shape the keeps evolving.

It goes from deep black to an ugly oily blacky green.

This is working!!

Thank you @tyme for you patience and understanding with me. I know I have been really difficult but just know I appreciate you.