I can’t cope

I don’t know @Jynx. I’m getting all the email notifications. I just added to favourites so I don’t know if that works.

The way you some it up makes more sense than I’m making. It helps me see it in a different light. It gives me some understanding how everything that has and is happening has lead to this.

I tick pretty much every box of the anger is.

It makes it seem more controllable and that there is a reason. It also makes me realise that I did exactly the same thing when my nan died.

Im going to make a mess and rip paper up! Hopefully that helps. I’m also going to have a hot shower and try and wash it away.

It turns out I’m not just grieving for Angel but also a lot of things that have happened in the last few days.

No wonder I’m really struggling to regulate myself. On top of all that there is also the med changes. I am seeing my Pdoc on Thursday so I'm hoping she can help me with meds.

I have contacted grief line but I might if I’m still struggling later in the week.

It did help being able to vent without causing a trigger for anyone and in a safe space. Just getting it out helped some of the pressure inside me.

Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate your time to do so.

Can I say I’m sort of safe?

@Captain24 weird, maybe it's just an issue on our end? Good to know you're still getting the emails though.

I am glad to hear that it was helpful to vent, and it warms me to know my words have been able to give you some perspective.

I hope some shredding and then a hot shower helps to give you some relief and release! Sort of safe is okay by me, because I trust you to know what steps you need to take if that does change for the worse. But hopefully not.

I'm off for tonight, glad I was able to touch base with you and hold space for you. A hot shower for me too methinks, always helps. Catch you soon 💜

Thank you @Jynx

I really appreciate it.

I will call if I need to but I’ll try the other things first. I don’t really want to go down the path I have before. It was close

Not sure if I'm in right place..

Living with BPDetc and struggling a bit right now.

Initially was looking for a support group in my area but now just wanna talk to or try and support someone who understands and is going through hard times...

Hi @Captain24

Hoping today is a little better for you.

Hi @TaraLouise nice to meet you.

You can post where ever you like

So my much need Pdoc appointment has been cancelled. I don’t see her now until Nov 16.

My CM has to go away for the next three days. We were supposed to have an appointment in the morning. She may call me early in the morning. Other than that I don’t see her until I get back.

I don’t see my psych for a month either.

I really need my supports right now.

One good thing is I just finished my

last shift for the next 16 days.

I don’t think I can do it

You've survived 100% of the hard times so far @Captain24. It's really hard to know that you will be without your supports, for sure. You got any options for extra support in the interim? Could you discuss that with your team, see if they have any options?

Only just made it @Jynx

I guess I just have to deal with it. There’s nothing else I can do.

I’ve crashed really hard after yesterday’s episode. So adding an extra annual leave day for tomorrow night is probably a good thing.

I have so much in my head and I don’t even know what to say or how to say it.

I’m sorry.

@Captain24 you got this. I believe in you 100%.

Glad you've got some extra time off so you can just be, and spend some time nourishing yourself.

Could you journal about it? You could write it all out on your computer, in a diary, or heck even video journalling has been super helpful for me in the past.