I can’t cope

I’m so sorry this has happened to you @Captain24 you really do not deserve to be treated like that at all.

I don’t really know what else to say but I’m here. ❤️

Thanks @Eve7

I feel so humiliated. I have so much more I need to get out but I can’t write it here.

Hope you are going ok?

Ah @Captain24 I’m so sorry that is the way that the evening panned out for you. You are worth more than that and certainly don’t deserve to be spoken to and of like that. And that you folks basically sat there and allowed it to happen.
Must be hard knowing that he is coming back to yours tonight and that you will have to see him.
Im not sure what else to offer. But please know that you are not who your brother says you are. That you are kind, compassionate and understanding. I hope that you can be kind to yourself for the rest of the evening and don’t keep beating yourself up… someone else has already done enough of that tonight.

That is odd indeed @Bow, and I'm sorry that it has caused such disruption and ongoing strain on your relationship. I remember you were going to meet up and chat about it, sucks that she was sick (or dodged it, who knows). I don't know if pregnancy is an excuse... but I can imagine why it would feel like one. I hope that things do change for you soon, be it in getting a more supportive CM, or in her finally showing up to repair the relationship.

@Captain24 aww hun, that is truly so awful. It is not okay at all that you were put down so much, that your achievements were belittled, and that you were compared to your brother, as though you ought to be competing with each other. What an unhealthy mindset they have. You don't deserve to be so relentlessly picked on, and all I see in you is a strength, fortitude, and tenacity that ought to be recognised. You are so much more than their opinions of you.

I hope you can recognise that you are not a bad person at all. You are not their opinions of you. You are so much more than what they think of you.

I hope you're taking the time to look after yourself tonight, after all that. Are you safe atm? Do you have some time to yourself tonight?

Thanks @Bow @Jynx it is nice to hear some good things. But are they true? My mum and brother had a lot to say. They are my family so they should know me. It’s hard to hear but it’s not hard to listen. It gets inside your head.

Me being the stupid pathetic person I am, has told my brother to ring me when he needs a lift home. It shows how weak I am that after it all and what they think of me I still put myself I it. It’ll be worse because he will be drunk.

I am so stupid.

Now I have to wait for a phone call. Anywhere between now and 3am. Why do I let people walk all over me. Ive been trodden on like a piece of dog poo. I’ve been chewed up and spat out. I’ve been treated like diet. But I’m so stupid that I’m at their beck and call.

Hope you wake up feeling a little better this morning @Captain24 @and that your brother leaves rather early so that you can spend some time looking after yourself today. Please be kind to yourself 💕

Hi @Captain24

Unfortunately sometimes family can be the most damaging. It is the case with me too.

Please go gentle on yourself and take it moment by moment.

We are here with you to get through all of this 💗

Thanks @Snowie @Bow

I really appreciate your support.

They can do so much damage. It did put me in a really bad place though. They rang me at 1:30 to be picked up. I didn’t want them walking because it’s too far and my estate is just out of town so it wasn’t safe.

I took prn last night to try and calm down my anxiety, anger and agitation. One bonus I got 8 hrs sleep! Which was

much needed after not sleeping in the last few days.

We have a lunch with the 5 of us but it won’t be so bad as there is no one to show off too. They will leave straight from there. Then I have a few hrs to myself before dinner with my parents tonight. I need it to try and unwind.

I have discovered how therapeutic watering my garden is. However my daisies are dying so when I get back from holidays I will replace them and try again. But I must be doing something right as I have grown this.

Glad you got some sleep last night @Captain24 It is almost over, you have done a great job of getting through it so far. Please be kind to yourself today.

That is a beautiful picture hon. You should be proud of yourself. Must be doing something right.