I can’t cope

It’s now midnight. Im still wide awake. The only thing that is in my list that I could do tonight is wash the floors. I got it down from 41 things to 11. The other 10 things I can’t do until tomorrow. I just can’t wash the floor because my feet and back are so sore

I have distracted myself from my mood. But now that I’ve stopped it has hit me like a tonne of bricks. I tried my best to keep it at bay but I guess it didn’t work.

I took my meds and prn hours ago to try and calm down to get some sleep. But that hasn’t worked either.

I need to find sometime for some self care. I need to get out of this headspace. Thursday I was doing so well. Other than Angel passing, which was a normal’ response.

Why am I so up and down? It’s just so hard. It’s mentally and physically draining but yet I still keep going.

Hope you eventually managed some sleep @Captain24 and today runs smoothly

Hey hon @Captain24

I know today is such a busy day or you. I hope it all goes well.

Sending lots of love and strength 💌💌

I got 3.5 hrs sleep @Bow @Snowie but I’m still on the go. I have finished everything on my list.

I went to the markets to tell the dog treat guy. He had Angels special order. I said it’s ok that I would take them for Pix. He gave them to me for nothing.

I also remember why I don’t go into town on the weekend. It’s so ridiculously busy. You can tell the tourists be cause that can’t reverse angle park!

I’m now laying out in the sun having some self care time. I’m doing while I can. I don’t know when my brother is arriving.

How is the day going for you both? Any plans?

Well done for getting everything done @Captain24 i hope tue inevitable crash isn’t too bad. And I hope your time with your brother and family is enjoyable.

I’ve done 2 loads of washing, been to the shops, had a game of nerf wars and now I’m just moving my body a bit. Mum arrived at my brothers this morning, so all is well.

I’ve got washing on the line too @Bow. With the weather it should be dry soon so I can iron it. I’ve just realised that I have cleaned the back veranda so it’s something I can do. I don’t really like my brother. We don’t have much in common and I hate small talk. Plus I have to do small talk with 14 other people tonight. So it’s going to feel like a long night. Plus he is staying so I have to deal with tomorrow morning too.

The longer this energy goes on the harder the crash will be. I hate when people say ‘at least with bipolar you get highs’ My mood isn’t high with it though, this time But they don’t understand the repercussions of it.

It sounds like you have had a very productive and enjoyable morning. It’s those things like the nerf war that she will remember in years to come. I remember dad taking us to the park every Sunday afternoon. Also having hot chips by the river and feeding the ducks.

Don’t over do it and hurt your ankle! Any other plans for this afternoon?

Im glad your mum has made it safely. I really hope she gets in some quality time with your brother.

Thats not much sleep @Captain24 but I guess it is better then nothing.

That was nice of the guy at the market. I'm sure Pixie will love the treats.

I hope everything goes ok with our family.

@Bow glad your mum arrived safely. I hope you and D have a good afternoon.

My washing is mostly dry @Captain24 its pretty warm here today. I washed my sheets and just put them back on my bed- looking forward to climbing into bed tonight.

I took it easy with moving my body.

daughter has a fever 😩 really hoping it’s just a 24hr thing… and not a week off school like the last couple of times!

I love the feeling of fresh sheets @Bow. I usually like to wash my hair on the same day so I feel extra good.

Im glad you are taking it easy for more reasons than one.

I hope she doesn’t get too sick and it’s just 24hrs. Poor thing. It’s horrible to see them sick and there is nothing you can do to help take it away.

My washing is dry. It’s an awesome 33 degrees here today and still rising! I now have to iron the 3 loads. I’ve just had a shower so now I have to dry and straighten my hair too. That’s should keep me busy for a little while.

Any plans for the rest of the afternoon? More painting?

More ironing @Captain24!! My gosh.

I need to get myself in the shower today 😩 it’s been a while.

daughter is curled up on my bed watching a movie. I’m sitting at my desk watching the kardashians and doing my nails. That will take a couple of hours. We are just gonna chill the rest of the day I think.