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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29184 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Heya @Captain24 ,

Gardening again? Hopefully if you do it properly now, you won't have to do it for a long time.

I worked on clearly my place today. I'm happy with the progress even though it's not finished yet. As I move things, I'm also thinking about where to put them in my current place. I have a lot of storage, but I want to do it properly. So now I'm surrounded by boxes and bags in each room waiting for things to be put away.

Hope you can have a rest later. Sounds like you did a lot of work.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yes gardening again. @tyme. I have ripped out every single plant that was in there. I’ve done 2 trips to the tip. I’ve dug most of the pine bark out of the beds but my bins are full so that will have to wait until tomorrow when they get emptied.

I just need to finish the planting after that and try and find more soil from somewhere. I’ve just planted daisies so the should just take over the beds when they grow. The are frost tolerant and drought tolerant. I just need to keep them alive until they are established.

Im hoping it all works out in the future.

Oh all the packing away! You’d be hating the mess!

I like to do it right the first time too. I was lucky. When I moved in here I still had my old place and didn’t want to move in until the turf was laid and my furniture arrived.So that meant I had 2 weeks to move my stuff in. I’d pack a few boxes then come here and put them away. I did so many trips but when it was time everything was sorted and in the right spots!

I have done so much in the last 2 days. Today got to 33 so I’m thinking I’ve had a bit too much sun and that’s why I feel so sick. But I have to get over it because I need to finish it tomorrow.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yeah, 33 degrees and in the sun all day, you would have heat stroke!

Keep your fluids up.

Why did you rip up EVERYTHING??? @Captain24 Surely there was one plant that was ok?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I think I do @tyme. I have no idea how much water I’ve had today. I just know it’s a lot.

All the plants were going to grow oversized for where they were. Plus they weren’t symmetrical! That annoyed me.

It’s another 33 degree day tomorrow too. If the bins get emptied early enough I’ll try and finish it before lunch. Then I can actually have some rest. I have mums dog from 5:30 Tuesday morning as dad has his surgery.

What plans do you have for the next few days? Other than sorting

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

LOL. Plants 'not symmetrical'. @Captain24

Oh! My days are busy. This week is BPD Awareness Week so I'll be going out to participate in some BPD events. I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing yet. I'll let you know once I'm done 🙂

I hope you get a good rest. When are you working next?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Well done @Captain24 for today

Sounds like you are busy 🤔 there my @tyme

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yes @tyme They have to be symmetrical. I’ve bought a heap of daisies so they will be colour coordinated. My roses are symmetrical! I like order!

I didn’t know that about BPD. That’s the good thing about being in a city you can go to events. I hope you get a lot out of them.

I go back to work on Wednesday that’s why I’m hoping to have some down time tomorrow.

I have a psych appointment on Tuesday as well. That will be interesting. I think I have a lot to tell her.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks @Shaz51 Hope you are ok

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Lol, symmetrical is good, but for me, plants just never grow that way lol @Captain24

What have you planned for tomorrow since you are not working?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m hoping they do @tyme. I’m leaving space between them so they have room to spread.

My only plans are to finish off the garden and then I need to clean the house. I also need to clean out the back of my car as that’s where I put the plants to take to the tip.

So I still have heaps on.

Are you going to do one room at a time? Or just bits at a time

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